My story

It all started when I was in elementary my mom couldn’t afford an apartment or a house. so we had to live out of her boyfriends van. After living in the car for like a couple of months we moved to a homeless shelter. It was hard going to school because I couldn’t be like the other kids. For me after school was just going back to the shelter and that was it. I didn’t really get to play much and if I did play I would play with my older brother. I have 2 older brother but my oldest brother got kidnapped by his dad my mom said so I just recently met him. But anyway once we finally got out of the shelter we moved into a town home with my moms boyfriend after a while it was really good but then he started to hit my mom. I was really scared of him because I was only in like the 4th grade. After awhile she left him and went to this other guy he was really abusive he would hit her 24/7. One time he het her so hard she lot her eyesight. I wish she would have left him then but she didn’t. He convince her to move to a different state with so in the middle of the night she told us to pack our bags because we are going with him. I didn’t see why she would do that. I would’ve thought she would’ve left him but she didn’t. When we got to the other state I finally met my real dad and so in summer I would go stay with him. When I would come back to my moms she would always say he het me all the time you were gone and stuff like that and I would cry feeling bad for leaving her and my brother there. But one summer my brother had enough and move to my grandmas in the state we came from. I was hurt really bad I was all alone to deal with this. I wish I could’ve have went with him so I could’ve gotten out of the mess….so one summer I did. I went to my dad’s for the summer again and called my mom begging her if I could stay with my dad and she started crying saying don’t leave me so u didn’t I went back. But when I went back there was a surprise she said she was going to leave him and move back the state we were at I was excited!!! All of those years of pain ended and we went back and started a new life or so I thought my mom didn’t get any more ahusive boyfriends but we struggled so much to the point were I didn’t even want to live we could barely afford food and rent.it was miserable and we are still struggling till this day. I don’t rennet how many times I moved to different apartments and schools I could never be in one place perminitly. All I wanted was just a normal life nothing fancy maybe a car so we don’t always have to take the public bus to places and a nice apartment. Then the anxiety started to happen I struggle through it everyday and it’s hard I want to kill myself but I know I’m not I just want to tell somebody my hurt and pain. I’m just so tired. I’m tired of not being able to be like normal kids like my friends I can’t never hangout out with them becuase I live across town my mom could only offered this apartment me and my brother have to sleep in the same bed or the couch I don’t think I ever had my own room in my entire life. I wish I could have my mom take me places like I play sports but never have transportation so Idk if I can even stay in them. In hurting so much but never tell anybody I just keep it all to my self so I don’t worry somebody I just want a break once in a while you know. That’s all I ever wanted and nothing more. My mom says I’m just selfish but she doesn’t understand no body understands even though they don’t I still love them and don’t want to leave them but I don’t know I don’t think I can let very long. Thank you for listening I had this on my chest for almost 6 years.