I don’t know how much time i have left…
i’ve been trying for so long, sometimes i find some strength to live another day…
But this wish of dying always come back
I don’t have any hope that i will get better
I am sure that one day i will kill myself
I don’t want to be this way
I don’t have nothing beside my addictions
I think i’m an idiot
I feel like i’m hurting everyone around me
I smoke, i drink and i use drugs
Nothing can take this pain away
I’m so sad… i don’t know if i can fight against this anymore…
I don’t want to go outside anymore
I’m so afraid.
3 comments
I feel the same as you.
We should just become addicted to videogames and play them forever. Then we would never have to go outside again or die.
But on a serious note, there is always something/someone to live for. I am still alive because of my curiosity. My life is shit right now, but it has to get better sometime, right? I just always tell myself that. It can’t ALWAYS be like this. I wasn’t made to live this miserably forever. There’s no way. So my curiosity is “I wonder when life is going to have that magical turning point for me. I wonder what’s going to BE that turning point. What’s going to make me the person I dream of being?”
So my advice to you is this: Stay Curious.
“I don’t want to go outside anymore. I’m so afraid.” I feel the same way. Glad to know someone else feels this way. I wish that feeling would go away.
Sev,
You are giving up too easy because now you are weak. Addictions are your weaknesses.
Did you notice that almost every one of your sentences began with “I” Now that is your priority – you.You have fight in you more than you think.
Let’s start with tearing down your weaknesses so that we can begin to strengthen you from the inside , out. Starting with the most harmful – drugs. I stopped all of my drug use on my own. If you can find someone to help you then do it. Somebody who is drug free. You need to cut ties with people you are taking drugs with. These are not friends.
I t won’t be easy but victory after victory will give you strength. Life is good.
Do you have someone you can talk to?
Please reply back. Let us know that you are there.
SAM