after my one day stent in the ER, and the 5 day stent in the psyche ward, I became close to a lot of people in there. I exchanged phone numbers with about 5 people. They was like family to me. When I tried to call em, it all went directly to voicemail and I left a message but nobody returned my calls. Me and this one guy was planning on meeting up and going fishing.
My fear is – what if they just felt that fellowship on the inside, but once they got out they moved on? I heard stories about prisoners who promised to contact each other once they were released but never contacted each other again. I’m kind of afraid that the same scenario will happen in my case?
Any thoughts?
8 comments
Assuming you got most of your numbers from the psyche ward, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. People with mental illness are going to be unreliable, unless you force them to be in a social situation. I had lots of friends at university, but after leaving the confines of residence I have barely exchanged more than a few sentences on Fakebook, and only hung out with them in person once. Folks with our depth of problems or eager understanding of reality, are going to feel better cooped up with their own thoughts and dilemmas, rather than engaging in some care-free fun. I’m surprised though, you’d think those people would jump at the chance to explore deep existential questions of the universe. I for one crave real connection from living, breathing, human flesh; not a dead fluorescing screen. I would be patient and just realize that their mental illness is going to have some bearing on how quickly they get back to you.
You and just about every person you met there were under extreme stress. Plus, getting out – for most people – means immediately salvaging jobs, relationships, families, pets, homes, and vegetable gardens.
Leave a nice message and hope for the best.
Trust is forged in the furnace of shared circumstance. Only time can temper it. Until it is tempered it is brittle.
Most of my frequents to the psychward have been met with some relationships that last and some that just fall away. I used to never give my real info to anybody in psych wards but I met a lot of golden hearts in there, so over time, I changed my philosophy. Somebody I met in my last visit to the animal farm just sent me an email yesterday. It’s nice to hear from these people because you shared something very unique together.
GIve it some time. If not dont sweat it. You hit up other support groups you’ll meet more people.
This happens often with people finding themselves together, not through their own choice, making the most of their circumstances and bonding with the others there. Once out of that environment, many people just go back to their lives and dismiss anything that happened or any friendships that developed. After working in maximum security prisons for over a decade, I saw it often.
Maybe they fear that the only common thing you would have is mental illness and they would have nothing else in common in the outside world.
Maybe they don’t feel as though they are worthy of having friends and wont answer because they think you are just calling to be polite.
I have also heard of people like yourself who actually feel better and are no longer suicidal being convinced to avoid other people with depression as if it were contagious. I know it is often said that you should associate with the type of person that you want to become. If you want to be wealthy and successful in business, then you should strive to associate with those types of people. Maybe some of those people you met have others influencing them and convincing them not to socialize with others they met in the psych ward. It’s the stigma surrounding mental illness, people think their loved one shouldn’t have been in the psych ward but all those others there are crazy and are best avoided.
Maybe some of them didn’t cope well with being in the psych ward and want to forget the entire experience. It could be anything but you shouldn’t take it personally, you are a good guy but I fear that you may bond with people a bit too quickly when you relate to them and they are nice to you. I do it too. My new Psych is a gorgeous woman who is really nice to me, so my messed up mind can not stop thinking about her and I think I’m becoming obsessed.
Maybe they haven’t recovered as well as yourself and have fallen right back into deep depression and won’t talk to anyone. Anything could have happened
Like I said, you are a good guy with high intelligence and excellent communication skills, so I think you would make friends easily with most people in most situations, so don’t take it personally, it’s likely something to do with what is going on in their lives as to why they have not returned your calls.
Thank you so much. Your a great guy too with a lot good points. When I left the ward I was thinking – wow I made lifelong friends in here! But now I’m questioning everything and questioning myself. I hate that feeling
Thanks for the great advice guys. Maybe I had unrealistic expectations. Oh I thought we were all gonna be the best of friends. Back on the outside I’m lonely again. I wanna go to the Serenity club, a place that offers AA, over eaters anon and codependency groups. Not sure how I’d do in AA because I don’t believe in a higher power and I know many in there are deeply religious. What is codependency anyway? Isn’t that where you can’t stand to be alone and constantly need a relationship or friendship?
Plus I was probably the most socially isolated person in the group while I’m sure others had friends on the outside. I’m starting to question myself again. I left thinking I’m a likable guy and can easily make friends. Makes me afraid. Makes me wonder if it was all fake or something If that makes since? Because the biggest part of my recovery was having that community
Hey, I’m sure you can easily make friends. Join one of those groups and maybe you will. If you see people on a regular basis it’s much more likely you’d keep in touch than if you just meet up over a couple days in a hospital. Be thankful if you haven’t acquired any stalkers, haha.