All the papers and forms will be signed, witnessed and notarized on Sunday. I’m going to have to decide if I have the courage to go through with jumping. I am sick to my stomach with loneliness today. And I physically ache.
It’s time to cut my losses and move on. Monday I leave for the bridge.
7 comments
I’m so sorry you feel this terrible. I don’t really know what to say. I’m just sorry. I wish there was something I could do.
Trix,
Sometimes, just an honest and heartfelt expression of sorrow that another person is in pain can make a big difference. Your words are so nonjudgmental. And I thank you for that. I think we all dread being judged. And most people on this site are understanding enough to not do that. Thanks.
I’ve been listening to this song on repeat for about twenty minutes, thank you for posting it. You sound so final, my heart goes out to you. I’m sorry it got this bad, and that the only hope you see is in this last, irrefutable option. I wish you peace, (though I would much rather see you able to achieve it in this world than the next), and there is still beauty here despite all the pain. Bless and keep you no matter what happens.
Freeroma – thanks for your kind words. This song has a lot of history for me and I’m glad you found it worth listening to.
At present I have absolutely no self esteem. I don’t know if I’ll have the courage to go through with it next week. But I’ll try to give an update.
Hello my friend! It’s been a while. I thought about emailing you recently q couple different times but I wasn’t even sure if you were back to regular access. You know that I hope you find a way to stay around, yet I also can empathize with your thoughts here. Stay in touch and let me know what’s going on please. You were an encouragement to me during some of my hardest times with this, if there is anyway I can be the same to you, let me know.
I hope I still have the right email for you, I sent you something to wj****le@gmail.com I removed the center in case it is still your email and you didn’t want it publicly posted. You can reach me the email we spoke through before still or you can also reach me at evil_oni22@yahoo.com if you don’t still have my other one. I just didn’t want to post my more personal one here 😉 hope to hear from you……
Dear EvilOni22,
You have the correct email address. I received the email and responded. I cannot thank you enough for writing and expressing some of the kindest words I have ever seen in that email. I will be in touch in the upcoming days and weeks. Little things and little words can make or break big decisions. And as I wrote in my reply, it only takes a spark…………..