Since I was not able to meet my therapist yesterday, (thank you, freeroma, for killing time with me.) I was thinking of going today.
BUT I have this professor, who is aware of my condition just recently, that I think is waiting for me to take the last quiz that I failed to attend to yesterday.
And I don’t want to fail her expectations on me coming. So, I’ll try to get up and suck it up. I mustn’t run away.
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I WANT TO DIE. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. HELP ME. DON’T HELP ME. I’M FINE BUT NOT REALLY.
(Sorry, I don’t really know where to go. Who to tell. I just want to let it out somehow. I have this thing where I just push people away, even the people i dragged with my problems, whenever I’m on the edge. I feel like I can’t contain myself any longer. I feel like anything could break me down when I’m on the edge, so as much as possible, I push people away.)
Take one moment at a time, dear. Every time you want to die, try, just try, to focus on something else, anything. Even if it doesn’t seem to work. Don’t get lost in the thoughts; we are all here for you.
Thank you very much. 🙂
I played arcade yesterday to at least vent out these feelings. Not really the most productive thing to do though. Haha. XD
Whatever works!
Hahaha. Yeah. Thank you as always. 🙂
My arm kinda hurts though. All the games I played involved throwing and lifting a heavy toy gun. XD
Exercise. Always healthy. 😉
Running is fun (and breath taking)
And biking but I have nowhere to do these stuffs. I live beside the National road soo… XD
I miss biking.
I was referring to lifting the toy gun. 😉 I can’t exercise now but when I did it I did indoor workouts. I loved them because I could do them anywhere. I always wanted to take up running though.
Ohh. I see. Hahaha. Sorry. Yup. A good way to exercise. XD
Maybe I should warm up before entering an arcade. 😀
Like yoga, scrunches etc?
Hehe, sounds like it worked.
Sometimes. I did Fitness Blender workouts which are mostly a mix of cardio/toning/strength training for people with weights at some. Someone keeps trying to steal my weights because I’m not using them at the moment, but no one will take them from me. I mostly did HIIT. I definitely miss that the most. It’s amazing how knackered you can get without actually moving from your living room.
Wow. It sounded so awesome, healthy and productive. X))
I was planning on living in a boarding house near the university because it got gym, swimming pool and it’s a huge place. Perfect for morning run or biking. But it’s really expensive soo… I chose another one. It’s a good boarding house 🙂
Nice. 🙂 I always used to be excited when I went to hotels and they had a gym, but I ended up feeling really self conscious in them. And they were always full of mirrors… one version of me working out was more than I wanted to see, haha.
Hahaha. Yeah, mirrors are too distracting >×<
Four years of Jazzercise with 10 grannies made me immune to the criticism of mirrors.
Cool. Jazz is nice. So are grannies. Indeed 🙂
Mirrors are the enemy when you look like a sweating, dying potato. Especially when there’s some annoyingly fit guy who takes the machine right next to you (when the gym is empty) to do a light jog… while you’re at the end of yours and collapsing. All in all I think I prefer exercising without witnesses.
And it’s much more comfortable too
But… what we really want to know, did it made you immune to grannies?
Good grief no! One of them was 70 and was always kicking my ass. She was my hero.
hi Mr. Anony(mous). if you think you can handle taking the quiz, then go for it. if not, then head to the therapist. I kill plenty of time by myself, it’s much more enjoyable when there’s someone else.
I used a not very planned name. Hahaha.
I think I must. I don’t want another domino adding up in the line.
Have you tried stacking random things you can within your reach? One of the funnest thing to kill time.
Exactly, one way or another, it’s just a test. It’s not worth you getting super stressed about passing it-or even taking it if you don’t feel up to it.
You were motivated to go, that’s already something to feel positive about.
Yeah. I must grab it before the motivation decides to slap my face and leave.
My therapist always tells me to think of the rewards. So, just be sure to reward yourself by feeling awesome after!
Good luck : )
Nice. That sounds very nice indeed. X)
I remember my friend telling me that she does that.