I cut myself knowing fully I want attention. Not just for that though. To release that endorphin to feel calm and relaxed and at peace with the world. I cut today to push on them through out the next few days to remember how little I’m loved. If I remember no one loves me then I wont ever get my hopes up to have them crushed
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How can i say this… There is only ONE way i’ve made it this far in life. Coffee. It keeps me running, and when i crash, i have to get more otherwise all of the depression and suicidal thoughts… and cravings for my own blood through cutting flood. Coffee is my drug.. I’ll let you know why.
I have a metaphor about coffee.
Coffee is like life, it comes daily. And sometimes it *dies* and gets cold, that’s when i have to find a new cup of coffee, (find something new in life), and sometimes coffee gets EXTREMELY BITTER, however, i just need add sugar and it is so much better.
Sugar takes many forms in life, love, spending time with people, enjoying food, doing what you enjoy.
That’s just the beginning, but you get the picture, its a silly metaphor. But it’s what gets me through the day, i hope it helps, if you really need someone to talk to, let me know, im up 20 hours of the day.
I’m not sure what to say to this, except you’re loved by me. No hopes, no relationship, nothing to be crushed. Just love. You might not feel it, but it’s there. 🙂