Hi, it’s a time ago that I wrote a post here and I even feel more miserable than I was. I really can’t understand why methods are not allowed here. I mean detailed methods, not things like ‘jump before the train or shoot yourself in the head’ because sincerely I don’t have the guts to do something like that. In 2011 I jumped from the balcony of my appartement but it only shattered my bones! I was even not near death. I took some painkillers the day before and when my mum started to threaten me I jumped. I was not scared at all. I can’t remember much of the jump because my body shut down before landing. My mum told me that I was still talking before the paramedics arrived but I can’t remember!!! Why wasn’t I dead that day? Maybe I have to try again but from a higher height and when I am more intoxicated. Please God let this cruel joke called ‘life’ end. :'(
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Please, please don’t try again unless you’ve researched it thoroughly. There’s the chance that you might find somewhere where it still wouldn’t work but would leave you in a much worse state afterwards.
There are places on the internet (and books) that go into detail about methods. I think the reason they stopped allowing people to discuss them here is because so many were using it solely for that, which wasn’t the intention of this website.
I’m sorry you’ve been feeling even worse. I hope things get better. Please be careful. x
Methods discussions aren’t allowed here because – probably – it would make this site one court case or media storm away from being shut down. You can discuss methods on 4Chan or Reddit, but I don’t recommend it
Thank you Trix for your reply. You are a great person here. I am almost reading every post here silently and you are such as support for everyone. I’m just so scared that nothing will change and my fysical condition will only get worse which I can’t cope. Urgh I just need 5 minutes of courage to end this all. The only person I will miss is my mum but she already knows that I am suicidal so it will not be a big shock, will it? I really wished that I was American then I could buy a gun and end it all. Sweet sweet dead please come and get me!
I think it would be a big deal. But I think it’s good that she knows. I keep very quiet about it in RL, which I don’t think is a good idea for me or anyone else.
If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your physical condition?
“I was American then I could buy a gun…” Yes, yes, we are the envy of the world in that regard. If you have dark skin you don’t even need a gun, just act suspicious and the police will take care of the rest.
I have a eating disorder which is affecting my whole body and I have a huge anxiety attacks and social phobia. I feel like I am losing my memory too. Unfortunately the police in my country rarely shoot anyone… I was thinking about threating a police officer until he or she shoots me dead but they mostly shoot in the legs, so not for killing. American police is awful for normal people but they sure are great for suicidal people…
Why are we here? It is certainly not important, believe me. Where do we go? In a much better place, of course. Now this is what I like to talk about. I had one of those dreams where you’re awake but see things (no, I wasn’t drunk, or smoking, in that time I wasn’t even smoking normal cigarettes; I lived a perfect, healthy life). When I looked up to see, I opened my eyes : I was in a beautiful place under a very tall palm tree(tall as a ten story building at least), wind was blowing through its leaves – it gave me a feeling I cannot describe, and remembering that wind and palm tree still makes me cry. I cannot tell you how I felt. So happy and free. The dream lasted only a few moments. So yes, there are better places. This was in 2006. Other time, 6-7 years later, I dreamt I was floating through space, moving my arms and legs like I was swimming, trying to move in this way. But I saw I was near a planet. I turned around, and there is a star opposite to it. I was suddenly rushed to the planet’s surface. I woke up on the beach. Ocean, sand. But there was no one else there. No trace of anyone. The sand was perfectly flat, like that planet was still waiting to be visited. Then I woke up. So, yes. You people are absolutely right to not want to live in this world. Of course this world is cruel even to its most dearest. So, beloved, I leave you for now. I am a “lurker” for some time now and like how I find myself in your stories. It is incredibile , we are not alone, really. I never had the courage to do it either, but I, too, thought about it, a lot. In fact I was thinking the same thing-if it comes to doing it. I climb the stairs on a ten story building here in the city, to the roof. Bring along with me bottles of strong drink. Then..I just trip and fall..that easy. But I don’t think I even have the courage for that.