So…hey there. My name is Jayden…I’ve been on here a couple times, gotten help from some amazing people. Then I thought my depression and anxiety were gone so I selfishly felt I didn’t need to come on this site anymore. I’m sorry. That was selfish and rude and despicable in my opinion. But before I go on a 5 page rant on how much I hate myself, let me catch anyone who listened when I was originally here up to speed.
The girl who made my depression seem nonexistent dumped me.
I have effectively pushed all but 3 of my friends away
The last friend who helps me with my depression got pissed at me and yelled at me (for good reason)…and she doesn’t know this but it really shook me up because she said she might leave me too if I kept pushing her away…
All throughout the time I’ve had depression I’ve never cut. But ever since she broke up with me I’ve wanted to so badly…
I cry much more than I used to
I feel horrible since I never came back to this site
I’m just all around a mess of emotions I don’t like and I feel like I don’t have anyone to turn to but like 2 people, 1 of which is pissed with me.
So yeah. There’s the update. I’m sorry I never came back, but I hope I can offer some help to others in return for the advice I got
10 comments
Don’t beat yourself up. Welcome back (I think? ).
I beat myself up way too much. But thank you for reading that and replying
I find just opening up a can a crazy on here and letting it all hang out liberating. Feel free to just gut yourself…or scream. Someone is smoking weed on another thread. Things are being played rather loose and fast tonight.
Other nights we just discuss the best method to die. Well no really since it isn’t allowed but there are a lot of euphemisms tossed around.
I wish I came back sooner. But I was too scared people would hate me for promising I’d come back then breaking that promise
I don’t thing there is a person on here that would think that. I certainly would not think that. I’m fairly new here so I don’t remember you at all.
Be gentle on yourself. This is a first step in a journey back to sanity.
It’s good to see you back (or is it)? Hopefully, you understand what I mean when I say that..
People here always have a listening ear, and many of the wise older people (Seesmith, Mf, I’m looking at you :P) will respond with the proper advice to help you to get back on that horse, so to speak.
Not sure if you remember me at all, but I remember seeing your posts often before.
I can’t really sleep either. I hope you keep us updated..
I remember you…and thank you for reading and replying. And I don’t expect help from anyone, the horse that I’m supposed to get back on trampled me. But I hope maybe I can help others
@mindlessgamer619: i sure can agree on the “older”, not so much on the wiser, lol. That said, who are you calling old? haha (j/k)
I remember your name, not so much your situation tho (my memory is pretty bad). Actually… there’s many folks that get “better” and leave sp, and that’s perfectly reasonable, considering that the overall theme of the site can easily send you back into a bad state if you’ve become “better”. No selfishness on that, so you shouldn’t beat yourself about it.
That said, i’m sorry that you’re going through that… breakups are never easy. If anything, time helps (typical cookie-cutter advice, but is kinda true to some extent), and i guess many here will chime in on that one as well, but… yeah, breakups are instant “go back to sp” cards, lol.
it sucks when people leave