Last year I was so lost, depressed and broken that I decided it was my time to leave this world. I wrote my letter, cleaned my room, grabbed the rope, jumped out my window and ran. I went into a forrest, began to tie the rope around the tree and then around my neck. In front of me was a massive empty, dark field. Behind me was a giant fence with houses behind it. I saw flash lights in the corner of the field in front of me so decided I needed to jump right away but then I heard a bang from above me. I froze watching as a lady threw her unwanted dinner over the fence, and went inside. Now was my time, I could see the flash lights getting closer, now half way across the field. I took one last breath, looked up and jumped. My jacket got caught on a branch and as I was half hanging there I suddenly felt hand on my back slamming me against the tree stump. It took me a while to realise what was happening. It was a police woman holding me up as her colleague was trying desperately to get the rope off my neck. Turns out someone had seen me enter the park with a rope and called 111 to be safe. The following 20 minutes the Police woman sat with me in the car, holding me, talking with me, crying with me as I broke in her arms. She came with me in the ambulance and sat with me in hospital. It finally came time for her to leave to another job so she grabbed my phone punching in her number, calling herself and telling me she was going to text me in the morning to see how I was going. I was at my ends, I hated my life, I hated myself but while in hospital I couldn’t stop thinking about the way she cared… It didn’t make sense to me. Her last words before leaving the hospital stuck to me and still do to this very day “You were born for more than this, you have not lost hope as hope cannot be lost. You have simply been blinded from seeing it, now its time to renew your vision and see life for what it really is.. An amazing and beautiful adventure.”
Today, over one year later she walked into one of the cities biggest gyms asking to speak with the manager regarding a missing person who was a member at that gym. That manager was me. Today, I got to see the woman who saved my life. We both burst into tears at the realisation of who the other was and at how different the circumstances now were. At how I could not look her in the eye, at how I could now smile and most importantly at how much I love my life. Today I realised how much has changed, I look back on the times I was so sure that there was no hope, no moving forward. But there was, and I found it.
Her name is Constable Campbell and she saved my life. There is ALWAYS hope. I promise you.
11 comments
That is an amazing story. I am so glad that you are doing well now. I may have to review my ACAB s
*ACAB status/belief.
You have my condolences for the loss of your friend earlier this year. The last time I went to a marae for a tangi was for my father’s almost ten years ago. It’s much more sombre than the usual funeral services, that’s for sure. That being said… I love Tauranga. Not just because the Mount is just up the road, but because it’s a nice area and one of my old mates from the service lives there. I don’t know if that’s where you actually live, but I just felt like sharing that.
(I’m a JAFFA by the way — please have mercy on me.)
~
Well, at least you didn’t almost end up on Police 10-7 because of your breakdown. I had a senior sergeant turn up with two constables in tow with Glocks and tasers at the ready (firearm involved — don’t ask how I talked myself out of that one) just itching to “help” me. Be a different story now since I have a different more potent weapon, but yeah.
“There is ALWAYS hope”… until there isn’t. That’s why I refer to myself inversely as a zero — everything I try to multiply or invest in always amounts to nothing. I ain’t made though. “No point regretting what you can’t change”.
Po marie.
I ain’t *mad though.
Hell, I haven’t even been drinking…
Good thing that Shepherd.
Great story, wonderful cop. I’m glad you were able to turn your life around-if only others could have similar outcomes.
But sometimes circumstances cannot be changed and suicide is a better option, only the individual would know what’s right for them.
There is no doubt I will end my life by my own hands and not old age (barring an accident), probably by the time I’m in my 50s, after that it’s all downhill.
Way different to my experience with Australian Police. They threatened to arrest me and forcibly take me to a Psych Hospital if I refused to get into an Ambulance voluntarily. They sent 5 Police cars with 8 Officers to check on a report of a guy covered in blood, driving along in his car.
7 officers surrounded my car and stood back with their hands on their guns while 1 Officer approached my window with his hand on his bright yellow taser.
The Police got nasty telling me that I should have more respect for the general public and that I should not attempt suicide or self harm out in public because people don’t want to see someone covered in blood because it freaks people out. They told me to attempt suicide or self harm in the privacy of my own home where I wont freak out members of the public.
I think they were disappointed that I didn’t have a few dismembered bodies in my car with me. That’s probably why they got nasty.
This is a wonderful story, it brought tears to my eyes, especially what she said to you in the hospital. thank you for sharing.
I read your story and it made me cry I guess people are nice in a way that can’t be explained
Really great story thanks for sharing.
To say there is “ALWAYS hope” is a lie. I thought about killing myself for a long time and would do it if I wasn’t such a *****.