Hello SP. Please read…

Hello everyone. I’m posting to tell you all a personal little story about life and death.

Ever since I was a kid, I have struggled with depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts and ideations. I have attempted several times, but here I am.

It is not always true what they say about it getting better. Sometimes it has to get much, much worse first, and in all honesty, life will never be better, it will always be a roller coaster of events and emotions.

Last Wednesday night I was staying at my sisters’ apartment where she lives on the second floor. In the bedroom that I stayed in were large windows with no locks or screens that overlook the alley next door.

I sat near the ledge for a while that night, just imagining the possibilities. After a long time of pondering, I came down from the window and went to sleep, with the thoughts still dancing in my head like sugar plum fairies, as they usually do.

Thursday morning I awoke to the news that a friend had hung himself. It was such a strange feeling…

There I was, literally on the ledge not 24 hours ago, with every logical reason in my head to jump, and now here I was, staring at a phone screen reading “he hung himself” over and over and feeling so confused as to why.

He seemed so very happy. He had so many friends… Why?

I guess I have to remind myself that the struggle can be internal with everyone, as it is with me.

My reasons for posting are this; You must reach out to people!!

Whether you are the person struggling, or you know someone who may be at all, reach out! Reach out to your friends, your family, even strangers, in any little way that you can!

I know how hard it can be to take care of yourself and worry about your surroundings as well, but you could be a big change for yourself or someone around you just by displaying a simple gesture of humanity.

All of this being said, this is me reaching out to YOU. ALL of you. If any of you ever need advice, conversation, or just someone to listen to you, please know that people do care! I care… SOMEONE cares and there will always be hope when you allow room for it!

We may be lonely, but together, we don’t ever have to be alone.