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Darker

by cswiz96

My days keep getting darker as each one passes. At my job the only other person who worked alongside me has transferred and I am the only one truly working. I keep working like a dog and each day I sleep longer and have less time to enrich myself in educational things before I am shipped off to the hell commonly known as my job. My hard work has gone under the radar and isn’t acknowledged like it used to be. My job is no longer enjoyable for me as it sucks the very life out of me. Now there is nobody helping me as my selfish father has shunned me simply because I refuse to be his scapegoat any longer. He fails to give a damn because at my first and serious trial for an act that was simply an outcry, he walked away and never came back to see the consequences. I am struggling as a college student, for each and every day I keep fighting the everyday stressers of whether I will make it to the next with my sanity in tact because nobody is there for me. My father has left, siblings imprisoned, mother borderline insane, girlfriend losing interest in the extra things I create and do for her, and friends nowhere to be found among the population. I feel like I am going through a dark tunnel looking for light or a sign of it and the only person I have left is me…that is until my own body kills me by suffocating me with the very breath I breathe when it becomes too heavy for Me* to bear giving up on I*

*Mead’s theory of I and Me in Sociology

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Ant 5/24/2016 - 4:57 pm

My family have all become very distant since they found out of my plans, their way of showing disapproval maybe or some kind of isolated punishment to make me see my selfish ways lol. It does mean my last few weeks are going to be even more alone but on the plus side it has given me a much stronger feeling of freedom to do it, a lot of my guilt has littered knowing they don’t agree but they will get on.

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