Wow, I’m posting comments and it seems I’m the only one here.
Oh well. I should go to bed anyway. Today sucked. Sucked balls.
EDIT: here is a painting of bullshit sunflowers. I should go to bed.
Here have some bullshit Downton Abby music. Watched some of it tonight. I feel like a complete tool.
Edit: I should add I got made fun of because I was watching it tonight. Fuck you person making fun of me. Fuck everything.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdY3gWRcl-Y
My life is utter bullshit. I’m lonely as hell.
People suck. Love sucks. I’m tapped out.
36 comments
After a few good days, I hit the inevitable fallout and so today really sucked for me too. Blah. I’m eating an avocado salad right now, though, so it could be worse.
I’m lonely too, but what can you do, eh.
I haven’t seen Downton Abbey, but my sister said it’s good.
P.S. Aww, I like the sunflowers.
Yeah I figured music….might as well since I’m buzzed as shit.
I’m also here…. -_- my day was mehish…. sort of sad about not spending much time with a person I wanted to spend time with…. But they had plans today so couldn’t hang out after school so went home right after class 🙁
So why was your day bad Hazy? I hope your tomorrow is much better ^_^
Drinking some kind of citrus beer. Flying my middle finger at health issues.
My day sucked because of so many things. But it boils down to me just coming to terms yet again that I’m alone in this fucking world. Just me. Raising a special needs kid and another regular kid that gets stuck on the back burner too many times to cound.
Sat and watched all these kids yestetday get awards for all kinds of speical bullshit. Grades, citizen ship. Not my kid. Never will be my kid. Fuck you life. Fuck yo special awards. Fuck everything.
There is nothing more lonely than looking across the room at someone who is supposed to be my partner in life and realizing I just have four kids instead of three. fuck this.
Ugh. 🙁 You never know though, maybe your autistic kid will behave differently when he’s older.
Yeah. He has gotten loads better since he has been enrolled in special ed.
Special ed. What a fucked up term. A nice little term to make all those people out there with normal kids feel better about us parents with totally fucked up kids.
I’ll just be happy if he makes it to 18 without a felony conviction.
True, but if he’s receiving the right approach there, it might not be so bad.
Let’s hope so. Is there such a thing as anger management classes for middle schoolers?
I hate that term too, also hate the route the classes tend to take…. Most of the time it feels like the instructors have given up on the students having a future…. I helped with one in middle school for a bit, and that fact really had me quite upset. -_-
but I should specify that I’m not stating that they are pointless and don’t help with things, I just feel like they could be better :/
@neph: No they are doing a really good job with his anger. He only tried to stab one kid this year. Next year it will be a felony offense though. So FML.
@shattered: On his worst day he can break into the schools computer system and change everyone’s names to random numbers. On his best day I can’t unerstand a damn thing he is talking about. Intellectually he will be fine. I just need to help him stay out of jail.
well that’s good…. Hopefully he stays out of jail.
and then there is Dowtown Arby’s…
https://vimeo.com/49737194
Amazing!!!!!
Hi hazy,
My day sucked ass too. So I decided I’d get drunk and have a nice dinner.
I’m going to have sirloin steak chips and eggs, after my 18pk of Heineken beers. I’m happy I hope your happy to and have sweet dreams! ?
LOL Soulsister. One beer and I’m way too buzzed to drive. Luckily I’m at home right?
An 18 pack of beers? You’re even more hardcore than Morris! :-O
I like Heineken, but I prefer Stella (my lesbian lover).
http://www. newbelgium.com/beer/citradelic
Really too high in alc content. I want to have a second but wont’ be able to walk to my bedroom without a red tipped cane.
That New Belgium brand looks amazing. I need to find a couple of mixed 6-packs.
Yeah I still working on the 12 pack I purchased last week. I’m a real light weight and I forgot to take it camping with me last weekend. I think I might just stay buzzed all weekend. Totally flush my better sense and coping skills.
That’s right, tomorrow is Friday. Is it just me or has this week gone by very quickly? I’m kind of on a vegan, gluten-free diet at the moment so technically I’m supposed to stay away from beer and whiskey, but vodka would be ok… though I think I’ll probably have a cheat day on Sunday and just go wild. Maybe I’ll even indulge in some flourless chocolate cake.
this week peeled by. Mostly because I had Monday off because of Memorial day. My weeks tend to peel by though.
Yeah that’s where we are different. One beer and I’m good to drive to anywhere on the planet! Lol wish I could pick you up and we could go drink n driving around my paradise of deserted beaches. Don’t worry the worst we could do is kill a stray chicken for dinner. Haha
Excellent. I have my half broken tent and three sleeping bags and an air mattress. We are totally good to go as long as you take me to that black sand beach. It looks awesome.
Nephailaid are you ms Persephone by any chance?? Lol you know I actually love Morris he is extremely clever he’s been around since forever like me. Buahahaha
And about Stella Artois I like it but it is to expensive over here I only get it when going out to look fancy or the place does not sell Heinekens or steinlager. A bottle of Stella’s in a typical pub/ club here is $14.00 fuck that my whole box of 18 heins is only $24 rather drink alone cos that’s all I want to do anyway haha
Guilty as charged. I definitely remember seeing you around while I’ve been here, haha.
Yeah, Morris can be a fun drinking buddy as long as he’s in a good mood and not insulting you or getting mad about something obscure which was totally irrelevant to the discussion… (It’s more agreeable when he rambles on about the good ol’ days or philosophical topics instead.)
Oh geez. That’s way too much, I don’t blame you. The Heinekens, on the other hand, are a sweet deal.
Honestly you are one of the few people I’d so love to meet ms hazy day sunflower. I’m intrigued by you and your honest thoughts and dealings with real life situations. You are a hero and a role model figure to look up to. Your motto is, it is what it is, you just got to deal with it. Well that’s what I get from you anywayz lol
That is so nice. Sentiment reciprocated. I have been this way my whole life. I think of myself as life’s catcher. No matter the pitch I’m going to catch it and toss it back to the pitcher until there isn’t anything left to catch. I have no idea why I am like this. I was just born this way. I have had some spectacularly awful thing happen in my life and I just pick up and keep going. Keep walking forward. For some awkward reason I keep thinking life will get better. I won’t lie, I have made a pretty decent life for myself here in Texas, I’m about the happiest I have ever been living anywhere. Most of the shit in my life is just stuff people have to face. Shitty spouses, kids that are their own people, employment that pays the bills. Bills.
The majority of my struggles are because of my mental illness, which I control pretty well most of the time. I plan for the crazy when I am sane. still sometimes, like yesterday, I think “this is it? this is what my life has boiled down to? Sitting on my sofa drinking some delicious citris beer ignoring the snide remarks about the show I’m watching and realizing that I am 47 and yes this is pretty much it. I didn’t realize the dreams I had when I was 17. I didn’t take the art world by storm, I didn’t even finish with a BFA like I planned. Some days I feel like I’m living out someone else’s dream. Which I am. I own my own house, which a lot of folks here at SP don’t, I should be grateful for the things I have, an mostly I am.
Sometimes I wish I was bi. I have more married gay friends and family than I do hetero. They seem to do a hell of a lot better at this than I do. Still, I seem to be too far on the hetero scale to muster up much passion for the same sex, despite the beauty in their figure.
I just wish I kissed that boy on New Years Eve. (or in your case person). But don’t we all right?
OMFG girl you were one of my faves, always gave those misogynist males like it c4 a go lolz you guys used to fill my days with actual wisdom from your knowing. yall a smart cookies.
It figures though cos aren’t you like bi- just like me haha I do prefer woman though only because I can’t love no one without an emotional attachment first. Hmm.. I love woman fuck a man I’m all the man any woman needs and more. Lol shit sorry just still in the part of the coming out phase lolz
Thank ya. 😉 C4/Morris is not 100% misogynistic which is why I put up with him for a few years haha (though you can bet your ass he got hell from me whenever he “jokingly” made a misogynistic comment. As I said to him, “When Amy Schumer says it, it’s funny. When a guy says it, it’s offensive.” No, that is NOT a double standard).
I identify as bisexual (or pansexual), yes, but have yet to actually enter a romantic relationship with a woman. Haven’t met any girls I liked who shared my sentiments, I guess. The emotional attachment thing is important to me too; no matter who it is, if they’re not feeling it on a similar level as I am, then we’re not a match.
People are people, all you can do is try to find someone with whom you’re compatible, and treat them well and hope they treat you well in return. Honestly, assuming you both find one another attractive and enjoy the others’ company (ideally, more than you do most other people, so you won’t stray), it really comes down to listening to each other, doing your best to understand each others’ point of view, and being considerate to the others’ reasonable needs and expectations.
Most folks aren’t, sadly (including me… I could be more considerate if I tried), which is one reason why the majority of relationships end without having spent decades together.
Having not done so yet, I’d like to spend at least one decade with someone to see how it goes. Could be interesting.
I’m blathering on now. Need to go to sleep.
Love the sunflowers. They’re my favorite flowers. Which reminds me I really need to get some planted in my yard asap. I want to have a whole bunch of them this year. The squirrels best be leaving them alone too.
This morning with a sober eye they came out pretty nice. I took a pic from the internet and used it to just draw a bunch of sunflowers ignoring if it looked real or not because I was too buzzed to actually concentrate on that sort of thing. This painting program truthfully has save my life.
OH about the sunflowers. They are my absolute fav flowers just ahead of the passion flower and peace rose. Each of these three flowers represent pivitol times in my life. Benchmarks so to speak. The peace rose is my childhood, The sunflower is me as a person, kind of free range and growing where ever I please and the Passion flower is my last chapter in life here in Texas. Just amazing flowers really. I have all three in my yard. All three grow wild and require absolutely no care, even the peace rose, which I planted when I moved own here 14 years ago. It is the size of a small tree now. the passionvine fills my entire fence down one side of the yard and the sunflowers grow wild every year in my yard. One year I had over 100 of the in the back yard (we were doing some major construction and no one could really use the back yard that summer so I let the sunflowers just grow wild.
I might take some pictures of them today and have at it since I am taking the day to do as I please. I might even order chinese take out, which I have never done for lunch.
Just living dangerously and living the dream. Living the dream.
Sorry to hear you are down Hazy.
My GF thinks I’m a kid, too. But I cook and clean, too, so she lets me get away with it. 😉
BTW, sunflowers are never bullshit. I think Van Gogh said that.
I haven’t seen the last season of DA. One day I will.
Love you, hon. ??
I absolutely love it when my theads continue after I pass the fuck out. Reading this made my moring. You ladies and gentlemen are an amazing bunch of people.