It’s so quiet here lately. Site seems to have changed too, since there isn’t a running comments area any longer. Makes it harder to follow threads.
Change is……. right?
Last night I was walking and the grass was wet on my feet. You were there too. You are still there.
What the fuck does he care right? Just cruising in his POS life and fucking with my entire existence.
What the fuck does anyone care right? I woke up this morning and there was this empty bit that started to grow and I am so furious. Just red with anger and frustration. I want to swing a bat at him. Set him on fire.
But I won’t. I have the balloon string in my hand and have found a tree to tie it off on. Fuck me. Fuck my life. This one dimensional existence I bumble through.
Here is the soundtrack to my brain tonight.
But who the hell cares right? In my head I’m painting beauty, writing some new thought and I look around me in this hellhole I’m living in and it’s just me. Fucking loneliness and fright. I’d throw up if I had anything left in me but I don’t. Empty damn relationships. Paper. Wet paper and just a shitshow that won’t stop. I sat and thought wouldn’t it be nice to park myself in another’s soul. No point though because it is impossible.
Morning sunshine I thought
was my salvation only became
a taste that you hinted was
OH so recognizable when
your breath smells of passion
flowers in your hair and me
the thief who stole tomorrow.
Nothing changes, things just look different because I have stuffed so deeply that I hardly notice I no longer know who I am.
I tasted your breath this morning
and the honey and bitter love you
shared with me will never be mine.
Two days from now I’ll look at your
hand and wish they were on my skin
but you drink another women’s love
You are in my mind a sad tree frog
that looked into my loveless life and
you taste like pure heaven but you’re not mine.
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