After an intense half hour of crying in the waiting room, and then several minutes of coaxing by my doctor for me to straighten my arm, I had my blood test.
I ended up having to give three tubes which I’m guessing is because of the amount of things I need to be testing for. Despite my doctor being one to joke around and playfully take the piss out of you, he was genuinely nice to me the entire time and talked to me through it.
After him saying all he wants is for me to get well, I’m slightly more convinced that the pills won’t be poisoned like the voices say they are. Him being the only person I can actually trust right mow makes it easier for my to believe him, too.
After a lengthy complaint and voice entry about my psychiatrist which he will later turn into a sarcastic letter to her, he said he’ll add the information to the form and send it to her. So I should be able to start my medication quickly. The reason he is sending the letter is because he’s had no contact from her about the blood test (I had to schedule this appointment), nor did he know why I needed one.
On a more positive note, I saw Jeremy today. It’s the first time I’ve saw him in almost two weeks, and he came to the appointment with me. He stood behind me and had his hands in my shoulders while my Nan sat in the chair beside me, so that made my morning slightly better. He was with me for the best part of 4 hours before he left.
Shortly after Bree arrived, and my afternoon and night plummeted. Resulting in a decline in mood and a minor violent few minutes with my brother. If it’s not already obvious, Bree has been consistently negative. Although she left about an hour ago, so I should have a night of peace from her.
The voices have been particularly bad today, but I’ve been so exhausted they haven’t disrupted today as much as my lack of sleep has. Which is a surprise. I had roughly 4 hours sleep last night, and no sleep the night before that. Plus any sort of needle makes me tired, even a shot, so I’m assuming the blood test has added to it.
I see my therapist on Friday, I’m taking a taxi so I don’t have to reschedule again. I might get my prescription off her for my new medication, which would be great. Fingers crossed that I start it soon and it’s not going to poison me.
5 comments
you show a great courage, I’m sure it was not easy, but you did it! keep it up, the road might be long and hard, but recovery will sure follow. dont give in to voices, trust in yourself.
It’s great to hear that you got a good doctor, it always helps. I hope you get the medication as soon as possible. Also, it may not mean much coming from a rando on the internet, but I assure you that the medication will not poison you. Best of luck to you, and stay strong. Things look like they’re on the up.
Thank goodness the test is over.
I hate needles too.
Accggh.
It sounds like Jeremy is very sweet, but Bree is very domineering and controlling.
I’m curious, what would happen if you told Bree “NO. That’s enough. Stop it. I am the one in control here, and I refuse to listen to you. Get out.”
What would happen?
Have you ever tried that?
I’ve tried telling her to go away multiple times before, but she just laughs and ignores me. So after a while I just gave up. Sometimes she not completely awful to be around, though. But that’s rare.
You made the move, congratz. Good luck with medication, they will certainly make u feel better a shut the voices.