Hello. For the past few days, I’ve been feeling more and more empty. I guess it feels like a mixture of sadness and anger, but mostly nothingness. Just white noise. I’ve fantisized more and more about jumping. I’m in the big city right now, so tall buildings are everywhere. Curently I’m on the third floor of the dorms. I’m just curious about the sensation. The feeling of falling. I’m too much of a ***** to ever jump, but I can’t help but wonder. I’m on my phone right now and typing in plain sight. Every now and again my roomate comes in and gets something. You know you are truely invisible when you can type on a suicide forum and nobody bats an eye. Why am I even writing? Does this even matter? Why do I keep going? I’m tired. Thanks for listening.
1 comment
Your roommate probably thinks you’re on Facebook. I have that problem sometimes, but I also noticed that I rarely pay attention to what my roommate is doodling at on his phone, so probably it’s the same for him.
I’ve had that white noise sensation, too. Doesn’t stick around for long for me, but I tend to bite people’s heads off for no good reason when I’m in a funk like that. Happens at work a lot these days. Hope you find your way out of it. It’s not a fun place to be.