The Notion of Suffering

Hello All,

As you have arrived at this web site it can be assumed that you’re no stranger to suffering. Neither am I. My mother committed suicide in 1976 and as I approach the age of 51, I still l feel the consequences of her act to this very day.

This is suffering. But, I would like to expand upon the idea. My paternal grandfather died in the most deadly nightclub fire of all time in the United States: The Cocoanut Grove fire in 1942. There were 492 fatalities in this fire in Boston. The fire was fueled by highly flammable draperies and artificial palm trees. Some victims were killed so quickly by the fumes of the burning plastic and other materials that they were found still sitting on their bar stools with their drinks in their hands.

My grandfather was not one of these people, though. He died two days after he got to the hospital from burns and broken bones due to the stampede to to door. He was 32 years old at the time.  In researching the Cocoanut Grove fire, I learned many things. The suffering of those people, who were injured and died so long ago, is largely forgotten. We don’t consider this today, because this was 1942 and it’s 2016 now. But stop for a moment and think about the 18 year old girl who lost her life after a week of suffering in agony in the hospital. Consider the horror her parents experienced when they were told that their only child – Anne – died. And now, it’s all but forgotten. My grandfather, a young and strong man, knew he would not make it and he told my grandmother. He was in tremendous pain when he died, holding my grandmother’s hand. The pain and horror that those people felt is lost to history. But, it still exists. It’s simply a chapter in the book we choose not to read.

Grief and suffering is an abstract – until you find yourself grieving or suffering. But when you consider the amount of grief on a historical scale, it makes sense to stop being self-focused and look at the world on a wider level. I felt a sense of guilt as I read about the patients of the Cocoanut Grove fire, as if I was intruding. I read that my grandfather, like many other victims, was vomiting and “maniacal,” as the record attests. All of these people who lived and loved and died and whose predicament is all but forgotten; they should be remembered as we consider our our situations. It would be helpful to give us some context as we move forward with our lives. And maybe as we consider our individual experience as compared to that which came before us, our situations will not seem so bad afterall.