I am a f/24, and I wish to get a job and go back to college (possibly turn my life around for the better) but I feel so hopeless constantly..I was raised Christian and o ahbe lost all faith this past year..I always had such high hopes for myself nd future but my perspective has completely change..
…My life began spiraling downwards when I started takin painkillers. My parents were drugs addicts my whole life (crystal meth) and even though we lost many homes and my dad lost many jobs I always felt like the strong one…the one who could hold our family of six together . I’m the oldest of of four siblings. I’ve always tried to be there for my little brother’s and sister, sheilding them from the fighting, the yelling, the ugly things that I’ve seen in this world…
My parents never took me to the dentist, I had bad teeth and severe migraines. So I started taking painkillers, little did I know it would change my life forever a couple years later when I realized I was very addicted and couldn’t afford the pills anymore. I then graduated to methadone. Worst mistake of my life…after going through months of withdrawals and post acute withdrawals I started feeling like I’d never get better and turned to alcohol to cope with severe depression and anxiety. A friend of mine hit a tree one day, I was the passenger and the
2 comments
When it all comes crashing down, I try to remind myself that Rome wasn’t built in a day.
It is great that you want to improve your circumstances and that you have in the past been the person holding things together for others. That is leadership.
And you have shed your faith, which shows that you are open to new experiences, which is an asset in itself.
Not bad.
I agree in part with what muspelhem said. When it all comes crashing down. You first have to find a way to cope with the blow. You might find some comfort talking to somebody about it and just getting it off your chest. Coming here to vent is a good step.
Then you need to take little steps > little buy little to piece things together again.
I think that its kind of a contradiction that you say you were raised christian > but that your parents were drug addicts and you also mention that it was not a stable environment. Sounds to me like your parents were trying to teach you one thing….but living the opposite. That must have been difficult to grow up in. Its like let me teach you about this kind of life…but were not going to fully live it. I can see how a contradictory lifestyle like that might have been confusing for you. Well if you lost your faith then it is what it is. I studied the christian bible for many years and still do to this day. I still believe in God, but I don’t believe everything in the Bible and I don’t live a traditional christian life. Maybe you are ready for a more open minded way of life.
Maybe you can take from it some of the good points… and then ditch the parts you don’t like.
that is what I have done. I have taken the aspects of Christianity that say to love your neighbors and be good to people and so forth.. and some of the applicable wisdom > but I have chucked out the stupid shit that doesn’t sit well with me. LOL
Its good that you have been there for your younger siblings. You are a good person for being there for them and I hope you continue to do that.
If you lost your faith in Christianity… or if its not sitting well with you. Maybe you should read up on philosophy or some self help books that might be encouraging and helpful to you.
Reading can do the mind a lot of good… and when you look into self help books they can give you a lot of tups and tricks to help you in the issues you are dealing with.
So I would like to encourage you to visit a bookstore and browse the self help book section and the philosophy section and the spirituality section.
I think a few books in those areas would be very helpful to you.
You might find something very interesting that will help you in setting little goals to get your life back on track.
I wish you the best
Good luck