I sort of hate being told this, I get told this fairly often…. about basically everything, by my closest friend…. I love him though, but he makes me feel so much worse about myself…. And so today I casually sent him a text telling him about what I did this morning, as he knows that I cut myself (that’s about all he knows of) and he gets really angry about it, and I knew he would see eventually so I would just much rather tell him over text instead of just surprising him with it in person…. He’s still probably going to yell at me and hit me though 🙁 he canceled our plans for today too, which sort of sucks 🙁 I ruined our date. I should have just waited and did that today. But grrrr back on topic, I’m just have started to notice just how often he tells me that I am unable to do things well…. and he always tells me that I will never be good enough at anything, never will be good enough for anybody to think I am good at it. Today he told me this so much, he went threw my 6 main hobbies today over text telling me that I will never get anywhere with any of them and that I should just quit…. I probably will quit those now too, as I now know he doesn’t approve of them, and I feel more shame about enjoying them than normal…. I quit one for a bit last time he said that and he later told me not to, but now he told me to again…. 🙁 I probably will just drop all of those…. What’s the point? I’m never going to be good at them. I’ll just cut myself whenever I want to do one of them now, I’m good at that. Although if you ask him, he is clearly able to cut himself so much better than I am able to…. Even though he never has…. I really have wanted to just pull out a razor blade and hand it to him and tell him to prove it when he says that, maybe next time I will…. if he doesn’t I will…. and he might be right he will get deeper cuts than me, but not sure if we can count that as he wouldn’t be doing them himself…. That would be so much fun. I don’t really think I could do that though, I don’t want him to be hurt at all…. I love him.
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It’s as if he always puts you down to make himself feel good… Why does he think HE is so special? Maybe talk to him in person and ask why he always puts you down and then gets angry when you retaliate and cut yourself…. Please because I would really like to know….
I did try to bring it up awhile ago, and he told me he wouldn’t do that if I didn’t suck at everything.
But it doesn’t help that he brings you down all the time… Obviously if he is always tells you you can’t do anything, you will believe it, and then you won’t beable to do it because you don’t have confidence so you won’t even try and your brain will subconsciously not do it on purpose because it believes it can’t… Do one thing for me?if not for me but for yourself… DON’T quite your stuff… Next time you do it, try to believe you can do it… And if you really really try, and you still can’t, then why not do it anyway?? Because maybe it brings joy to you… Maybe you have fun doing it? And who cares if you suck at it? The fact is, you’re trying and alot of people don’t even try because they are afraid to fail… But you try, which means that there is a strength inside of you that can handle failure… You are strong. And if he believes you suck at everything, you can tell him, no I don’t, I just havnt found what I’m good at yet but I will because I keep trying and I try different things and that makes me strong.
I probably won’t quit a lot of the things, a few I will hold on to…. I have other things I can shift into, these were only the things I mentioned to him as I wanted to show him them so I could grow further (I probably never would) I want to show other people what I can do with some things, if I never do I can’t improve…. I need to get information about what I could be doing better…. But really I don’t feel like I will ever find something I am actually good at that also matters…. The only thing I am actually good at is pointless and useless, nothing that matters in anyway…. Like I’m good at playing card games, that’s my thing. It won’t really take me anywhere, as I am good yes, but not good enough to go anywhere with it…. but other than that my second best developed skills are average at best :/
You could always apply for a job in the casino…
Although, I guess I could just be using his attacks upon these things I do as an excuse to quit as I am embarrassed and ashamed of all of them.
You cut yourself physically and you are in an abusive relationship that slices you mentally, spiritually, socially? Is that a fair assessment?
You can demand better support from him but you’ll have to explain to him what you want and be prepared to walk away. I know that would be tough for you.
I had these kinds of problems in highschool and I solved them, but our situations are hardly comparable. (For one, I rode a pterodactyl to school back then.)
This Sunday I’m driving to see my BFF. He’s oft negative and hypercritical, but he never, ever directs it my way because of the rules I laid down 40 years ago.
Ummmm I guess that’s a fair assessment, I wouldn’t say it’s abusive, just rough. But I can’t leave though, I only really have 2 friends…. And he probably wouldn’t let me leave, he explained this to me that I will never be able to get rid of him…. Although apparently I will be the god-father of his children -_- which is strange…. I met him in highschool, he’s like the only one I still see from highschool now. I talk to one person from highschool but she moved pre far away, and we only talk like once every 2 months or so. And that’s good ^_^ I hope you enjoy your time with your friend….
I guess I will try telling my friend to treat me better…. In my imagination first of course though.
shatterediris,
Good morning afternoon night? People enjoy killing your passions, they think they are a waste of time, but who care’s what they think?
Rocketman: Here’s a little story.
shatterediris: OMG! What have I started!!!!! A rocketman story!!! AWWWWWW!
Rocketman: My best friend while growing up always knock me, i was a singer in bands, all he would tell me is how i was wasting my time, i’d never make a money at it. although i also had a second career that i did to supplement my income, i enjoyed singing that was my passion. now he chose the strict business path, selling insurance, and did quit well, made lots of money, but was never happy, he got married had children, and was miserable! all he thought about was money. me well i did my music career and enjoyed living had fun, till my second career took off! it was a business career and i had to chose one over the other, i chose the business career and still doing that till this day, but i still sing as a hobby, anyways bottom line, i talked too him a while back, he’s living in a trailer park alone and broke, miserable, his family hates him, now he’s turned to region, his life has been shit and all he talks about is the world coming to and end, and how should turn to religion like him and give up on material things, and money means nothing,
what’s the moral to this story? i don’t fucking know!!!! ha ha! but enjoying doing what your passions are is far more rewarding, and don’t listen to insurance sales men, unless you what to end up in a trailer park miserable and out of your mind.
well, rocketman you slightly missquoted me, you forgot the ^_^
😛
and it’s morning I guess (5am) but I should go to bed soon…. apparently sleep is important.
this story made me smile 😀 thanks much…. and I’m in a better mood now I spent like the last 40 minutes or so with one of these things…. I basically just decided that I don’t care about my friends opinions right now…. Although I wish I wasn’t sick right now 🙁 I just sound so weird and it’s hard -_-
yeah it’s 5:30 am where i’m at you’ve been up all night! i’m just getting started! don’t listen to anyone knocking what you enjoying doing or you’ll end up like them. knocking other’s and miserable. 🙂
Oh so we are both west coast then 😀 (probably/maybe)
well, I mean I’m already have way there so I guess I don’t want to start the attacking others thing…. although according to the person who used to fill my third friend slot (4 is the optimal number) all I do is attack people…. so maybe I’m already there…. Meh probably not…. I’m not sure I’ll be sleeping as I have to clean the house in case my father does pop over, he wants to come over, and have to eat the rest of the chicken nuggets that I got…. I bought too much food -_- 40 chicken nuggets, a few tacos a burger and fries. I have like 16 nuggets left to eat, they microwave well enough at least 😀
shatterediris, Well sounds like a fun assortment of goodies, i live in az, i made a pot roast last night, i’m thinking of making pot roast tacos for lunch???? waste not want not 🙂
Pot roast is good ^_^
I live in wa. Meh I really can’t wait for my voice to be normal again, it’s a super deep manly voice and it’s so weird…. I like my higher pitched voice thank you very much sickness. I think I’m going to warm those nuggets up now, it’s been lik e6 hours since I ate and I’m hungry again
Sorry this happened to you. Please don’t quit your hobbies. If you enjoy them, keep doing them. Hope you feel better.
thanks
Not good enough for what?
Let’s just be real here. This guy you describe sucks at insults. Like terribad, off the wall sucks at it. He really needs to work on that before he tries to put it into practice. You should totally direct him to some internet forums somewhere so he can parry with the trolls.
He would get torn apart tough :O I wouldn’t really count the things he tells me as insults, they feel more like true statements. And just not good enough to make me able to say I do things.
Sorry to hear that you don’t feel good enough. But please dont quit what you love just because of a bad relationship. You deserve so much better than this guy. Hope you feel better *hugs*
*hugs back* thanks much ^-^