But what am I going to do? The car doesn’t work…. There really isn’t any place that high anywhere that I can reach on bike, I don’t have anything reasonable here to use…. I don’t think my father has any rounds for his guns in the house, and he also has the guns locked away (but I could probably break the lock it isn’t a safe or anything) maybe I can drink some bleach? I don’t know -_-
fuck I don’t have enough…. Zoloft won’t kill me, and it seems that the minimum lethal dose of hydroxyzine is a bit over 1600mg, I only have 800mg total…. 🙁
welp I just took a small handful :/ It probably won’t kill me, that dose definitely won’t but I didn’t have the mental fortitude to take more than about 14 or so…. maybe once it starts kicking and making me feel less anxious I will finish off the bottle eventhough I don’t think I have enough :/
Im a little *****…. too much of a little ***** to swallow the bottle…. and couldn’t even drink the bleach or laundry detergent, I just gagged instead I hate myself.
And today would have been such a nice day too, me and my friend got some pho, and then some ice cream…. It was really nice…. and then my car wouldn’t start when leaving the ice cream place, and he had to go to work in a few hours…. That was horrible, and he ended up calling his father as I am too scared of lettign my father know that I was having ice cream, I was wasting his money on icecream he would get mad at me. and it was fairly easy to fix but I couldn’t do it, I should have been able to do it. damn it -_- I hate myself…. I should die. But I’m just too much of a cowardly ***** to actually try.
look stop being a little *****! 🙂 things always go wrong, don’t make things worse, calm down, and look for away to make things better, other than the easy way, save that for the last resort.
I have no strength though, I’m so weak in every single way. I always have been, even when I tried to become physically strong I still was really weak…. I worked out every day for 4-6 hours per day for a few years and was still so much physically weaker in so many ways than people who never even did a single push-up in their life…. I’m weak. non-physical strength is nothing I have ever even come close to having…. I’m feeling so tired…. I want to go to sleep…. but I need to finish this puzzle first…. I started it to help calm me down but now I am regreting that decision I’m so tired…
Sorry to take this off topic but I saw that comment about working out 4-6 hours every day. I think most people would call that a severe case of overtraining. If anything pushing your body that hard would probably make you weaker over time instead of stronger. But I would have to say that if you had the resolve to stick with that for years even when you weren’t seeing any results from all the effort that you have amazing willpower and perseverance.
And even if you didn’t gain the physical strength you were looking for it shows how much mental strength you have to stay committed to it for that long. I have never been able to stick to an exercise program for even a month
I never said I didn’t have results, I became stronger than I was…. I was just still not as good as average people…. :/ and it was easy for me to stay committed when my grandfather used to drop me off at the gym at 4am before school…. what else was I going to do until 8? and then I would do 100 push ups and 50 situps and 20 crunches everytime I used the bathroom and then drink 16oz of water right after…. maybe I did overwork -_- but I did gain 30 pounds and stopped being underwieght I don’t have all of that anymore 🙁
ha ha! tired! join the club! the strength i’m taking about is to carry on, to forgive yourself for your short comings, like a small penis! that’s a joke 🙂 your not perfect who is? learn by your mistakes, and do better, that’s all we got, other than quitting , quitting is final, this will happen one day whether we like it or not, play the game, stick around, like me! try your best.
I meant tired there as physically like drowsy but yeah I am tired like tht too. but I was mostly just saying I may actually sleep now…. mayb eI won’t wake up if I’m lucky ^_^
I just read this and am hoping you are ok.
If my past is anything to go by, a handful of pills isn’t enough to be fatal.
I would’ve died SO many times by now.
Still I’m sorry to hear you’re suffering. 🙁
Consider yourself hugged, and I am also going to dedicate this next chocolate chip cookie to you.
Please hang in there and stay with us.
Hey where did u go eat pho? When ever I feel depressed and the world is falling apart all around me, I think about all the good stuff in life, like eating good food. I know this great pho place in toronto, I swear it’s the best in the city.
There are a lot of pho places where I live, most of them are pre good. ^_^ I’m pre sure it is a result of the somewhat high Vietnamese population 😀 I love that the place I live is fairly diverse when it comes to peoples cultural backgrounds…. It brings a large variety of food 😀
24 comments
Did something happen?
yeah 🙁
Let it all out…
OK i understand, but settle down, everything is alright. tomorrow is another day.
I let him down, it just wasn’t okay…. he had to call his father to help us 🙁 It feels so horrible why is everything horrible?
But what am I going to do? The car doesn’t work…. There really isn’t any place that high anywhere that I can reach on bike, I don’t have anything reasonable here to use…. I don’t think my father has any rounds for his guns in the house, and he also has the guns locked away (but I could probably break the lock it isn’t a safe or anything) maybe I can drink some bleach? I don’t know -_-
wait I have pills…. I can take those
fuck I don’t have enough…. Zoloft won’t kill me, and it seems that the minimum lethal dose of hydroxyzine is a bit over 1600mg, I only have 800mg total…. 🙁
oh gee! thanks for taking my advice!!
welp I just took a small handful :/ It probably won’t kill me, that dose definitely won’t but I didn’t have the mental fortitude to take more than about 14 or so…. maybe once it starts kicking and making me feel less anxious I will finish off the bottle eventhough I don’t think I have enough :/
Im a little *****…. too much of a little ***** to swallow the bottle…. and couldn’t even drink the bleach or laundry detergent, I just gagged instead I hate myself.
And today would have been such a nice day too, me and my friend got some pho, and then some ice cream…. It was really nice…. and then my car wouldn’t start when leaving the ice cream place, and he had to go to work in a few hours…. That was horrible, and he ended up calling his father as I am too scared of lettign my father know that I was having ice cream, I was wasting his money on icecream he would get mad at me. and it was fairly easy to fix but I couldn’t do it, I should have been able to do it. damn it -_- I hate myself…. I should die. But I’m just too much of a cowardly ***** to actually try.
look stop being a little *****! 🙂 things always go wrong, don’t make things worse, calm down, and look for away to make things better, other than the easy way, save that for the last resort.
do you think i just sit here and life is a bowl of cherries, be strong young man! your strength gives me strength!
I have no strength though, I’m so weak in every single way. I always have been, even when I tried to become physically strong I still was really weak…. I worked out every day for 4-6 hours per day for a few years and was still so much physically weaker in so many ways than people who never even did a single push-up in their life…. I’m weak. non-physical strength is nothing I have ever even come close to having…. I’m feeling so tired…. I want to go to sleep…. but I need to finish this puzzle first…. I started it to help calm me down but now I am regreting that decision I’m so tired…
Sorry to take this off topic but I saw that comment about working out 4-6 hours every day. I think most people would call that a severe case of overtraining. If anything pushing your body that hard would probably make you weaker over time instead of stronger. But I would have to say that if you had the resolve to stick with that for years even when you weren’t seeing any results from all the effort that you have amazing willpower and perseverance.
And even if you didn’t gain the physical strength you were looking for it shows how much mental strength you have to stay committed to it for that long. I have never been able to stick to an exercise program for even a month
I never said I didn’t have results, I became stronger than I was…. I was just still not as good as average people…. :/ and it was easy for me to stay committed when my grandfather used to drop me off at the gym at 4am before school…. what else was I going to do until 8? and then I would do 100 push ups and 50 situps and 20 crunches everytime I used the bathroom and then drink 16oz of water right after…. maybe I did overwork -_- but I did gain 30 pounds and stopped being underwieght I don’t have all of that anymore 🙁
ha ha! tired! join the club! the strength i’m taking about is to carry on, to forgive yourself for your short comings, like a small penis! that’s a joke 🙂 your not perfect who is? learn by your mistakes, and do better, that’s all we got, other than quitting , quitting is final, this will happen one day whether we like it or not, play the game, stick around, like me! try your best.
I meant tired there as physically like drowsy but yeah I am tired like tht too. but I was mostly just saying I may actually sleep now…. mayb eI won’t wake up if I’m lucky ^_^
I just read this and am hoping you are ok.
If my past is anything to go by, a handful of pills isn’t enough to be fatal.
I would’ve died SO many times by now.
Still I’m sorry to hear you’re suffering. 🙁
Consider yourself hugged, and I am also going to dedicate this next chocolate chip cookie to you.
Please hang in there and stay with us.
Please don’t do this, shatterediris. I know it’s a selfish thing to say, but…we’d really miss you. I promise we would.
Hey where did u go eat pho? When ever I feel depressed and the world is falling apart all around me, I think about all the good stuff in life, like eating good food. I know this great pho place in toronto, I swear it’s the best in the city.
You’re from Toronto? I’m from Hamilton
There are a lot of pho places where I live, most of them are pre good. ^_^ I’m pre sure it is a result of the somewhat high Vietnamese population 😀 I love that the place I live is fairly diverse when it comes to peoples cultural backgrounds…. It brings a large variety of food 😀