For some people, their family is the reason why they don’t commit suicide. For others, it’s the reason why they want to so desperately.
Personally I hate the idea of belonging to a family. I’ve hated it for a long time. Everything was fine when I was a kid but now my mom resents me for not wanting to live with her anymore. She thinks she understands me but she really doesn’t. She doesn’t want to take responsibility for her actions and claims that bringing me into this world was out of her control. She’s a nice person but frankly she deserves what she says she puts up with concerning me. I’m not sorry for anything. She should be apologizing to me for being careless and irresponsible knowing that having a child is an unnecessary endeavor in this messed up world. I wonder if she would finally regret having me if I died.
My brother, who also lives with us, can be arrogant and sometimes reminds me of my abusive father(who’s not in the picture anymore, thankfully).
The one piece of good news is that if all goes well, I’ll be in my own place by the end of the year.
Please, tell me, does anyone else think that like 90% of their problems would go away if you didn’t have to deal with living with other people?
12 comments
Yes, because my so-called family is the main reason I want to kill myself. This is not a family, it’s just a birth contract. They brought me to this world and I have to fucking pay them the way they want.
I feel sick of them, I am just a sexual slave for them. I hate it, I can’t even leave. So I hope you find peace when you move out.
Sexual slave? I hope theyre not molesting you
A birth contract…Very nice phrasing, kamidaka. I feel the exact same way. My mom’s already threatening to make me leave before I’m ready cause I’m not giving in to her selfishness.
Like john said, I hope they’re not molesting you. Thanks, and I wish you peace.
We choose our friends but we don’t get to choose who we’re related to. With family, we’re stuck with whatever hand we were dealt. If you didn’t ask to be born, then you probably didn’t ask to be assigned the parents and siblings you got.
I personally think that life gets better after you distance yourself from toxic family members. You’re not required to like or associate with family members who make you miserable. Once you leave their house and you’re paying your own way they become irrelevant. “This too shall pass”. Dealing with crazy/domineering/unpleasant family members is a temporary inconvenience that’s resolved after you no longer have any use for them.
Thank you Morris. My mom told me I can do whatever I want with her when I leave, but if I don’t stay in touch with my brother I’d be “missing out”. My brother has issues, and she is completely, totally in denial about it. She spends more time lecturing me about my faults than acknowledging my feelings. My brother’s issues are such that I don’t think I can have a healthy relationship with him, especially while we still live together. I’m not dealing with either of them for a while after I move out. I can’t.
You gotta do what’s best for you. That might sound selfish, but your body, your mind, your decisions and your life all belong to you. This is your life to live, and allowing others to interfere or make decisions on your behalf will only impede your journey.
(My two cents worth. This is a free site and you get what you pay for). 🙂 Best wishes.
Thanks 🙂
I love my family but I feel bad about the agony I’m about to cause them when I kill myself
My sister has helped me dozens of times in life. I’ve burned her out but it doesn’t change the good that she has done.
My aunt is the only person in life that I haven’t pushed away. Sometimes our conversations are brief and she doesn’t know what to say but she faithfully stays in touch.
As for my mother, there’s nothing even close to positive that comes to mind.
I like my siblingswell enough, and hate my parents. Don’t really have any relationship at all with extended family. I would guess on a site like this, we have a disproportionately high dislike for our parents. Since most of us suffer from various mental illnesses and a lot of mental illness can be traced back to traumatic childhoods. Which can mostly be blamed on negligent, incompetent, absent, or abusive parents.
I don’t have much of a relationship with extended family either. My childhood was fine, thankfully because my parents divorced early enough so that my dad couldn’t wreak that much havoc on my life. My mom was never negligent or anything like that, she just doesn’t get me right now and thinks I should be a certain way just because of how she raised me. But she thinks she knows everything about me. She doesn’t care how I feel or what I say. And she’s started to be more controlling because of her resenting me. She doesn’t take me seriously, and I sincerely hope she regrets it when I’m no longer around for her to push around. Sorry for ranting.
My family has some issues, definitely. But even so, they’re all too good for me. I don’t deserve them. And I love them all so much.
I don’t want to hurt them at all, and I know that if I die, it would hurt. It would hurt like Hell. But they just don’t understand that they’d all be so much better off without me. I wish they would just let me go.