My sister had a positive thing happen so i dont want to rain on her parade by becoming a corpse. Idk how long it’ll last though…..I cant deal with being alive. I wish every moment of every day didn’t have infinite reminders to how alone and undesirable and depressed i am. I have only made 2 friends since leaving high school over 10 years ago. Both met through friends i knew in high school. Ive been so severely alone for so long i dont want to live. Ive been in Charlotte for a few months and i doubt I’ll ever find another friend let alone girlfriend. Every time i have tried dating its made me feel worse. Some of us are too ugly and naturally antisocial to be loved cared about or even matter. It is no more opinion than it is an opinion that the sun is hot. Its a fact. How many of us are just going to try out for the NFL. None of us. (Over the age of 25 in case some kids here are athletes) why because we know our boat has been missed. We didn’t have the physical or mental aptitude for it and its too late. Unfortunately thats the same thing with me socially. I dont have the physical or mental aptitude for it. Its just constant rejection and never finding anyone capable of giving a 10th of a squirt of piss about me. You get to a point where you accept your fate. And the constant reminders that are omnipresent just by being alive. The terrible job the fat ugly fuck you have to see in the mirror everyday. How do you keep going? Why shouldnt i shoot myself while jumping off of a bridge. Our political system is about as real as WWE. Society is designed to depress us into buying shit and lying about everything. I have no reason to be here and i wont make it to my date next year. I won’t even make it to next year.
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I really wish I was dead too. I’ve tried so many ways to commit suicide but I never succeed. You’re not alone I wish we could just leave together.
Yes it sucks to feel all alone. It also suck when you really don’t want to be alive anymore but you are. I am kind of in the same boat and I don’t know if I will make it to 2017 either.
I wish you the best. I hope things turn around for the better.
What makes your job so lousy ?
The reason I ask is because it’s a shame you can’y lose yourself in being there more than on your own where you live.
I understand everthing you’re saying…feeling this way day after day, week after week, month after month ( year after year ? ) well, fuck that for a game of soldiers. It’s no wonder we spend so much of our time consumed with different ideas on how best to end this miserable suffering.
As NajaH & PhantomCitizen43 say,… for what it’s worth, hopefullyhopeful…at least there are others here right by your side, even if it is via a website on the internet ( we’re no less real ) …in exactly the same kind of emotional spiral of deep unhappiness…having all the same thoughts as each other, how best to make it all go away!
Even those not qualified for the NFL can still play pickup games – passion i think means more than fame and professionalism, even if just to an individual.
fact is merely a statement that can be proven. and opinion is based on perspective. aspects of beauty are, too. plenty of cultural and for that matter personal differences in what’s considered attractive.
wish i could help you out of the ugly aspect, as from my pov you truly aren’t, but… hell i still have problems with my meatsuit (though for different reasons). despite what anyone else says or reassures, i think it has to be an internal and personal acceptance. for me.. well i categorize most animals as pretty or cool, and certain vistas as beautiful.. i look “presentable”, and beyond that i don’t care too much as it’s not a priority and i don’t want to be noticed. that’s how i got past a few of my problems with appearance, seeing more important aspects. i’ve also found furry companions help with loneliness, amongst other things..
the antisocial thing.. kinda have to have some sociability to meet people. friendships don’t usually form overnight, takes repeat encounters and luck, common bonds.. i s’pose forcing yourself you of your comfort zone. things don’t change by themselves, most efforts and actions carry a risk of rejection and failure, that’s unfortunately how it works. yeah i can see how trying a lot and not getting anywhere can be disheartening to say the least. perhaps there is a point where further effort is useless, but there’s no way of knowing even with past experience what can happen..
how do you keep going? guess that’s personal, too. find something to hang onto, little things or hope, goals. something that makes life bearable.. or seek help, i guess.
work of course sucks if you don’t like what you do, yeah politics do too, and society as a whole has never been too awesome..
but some things are worth living for, that still being an individual consideration.
it was nice of you to think of your sister. i know she cares about you, it may not be the same but family can be pretty great sometimes.
for the record i rather hope you can make it past your date and that the change you bring doesn’t result in your death, but i wish you luck.
I can tell you what others have told me, you got to love yourself before others can love you. I believe that is true, but I’m still working on the how do I love myself.
Start by making a list of your strengths, the things that are positive and great about you. You care about your sister, that is a strength. Take on item and focus on that, try to make it better. The stuff on this list make you a beautiful person.
Next, make a list of your weaknesses, the things you don’t like. From this list pick one thing you can change and work improving that and turn it into a positive. There will be some stuff on this list that you can’t change but you’ll have to accept that. Just focus on what you can change.
Regarding making friends, I’ve struggled with this my whole life. I even got into drugs thinking it would make me more social and likeable, boy did that turn out to be a mistake. After many years of fumbling around with failures, I think I figured it out. You have to be honest, genuine, happy and positive. Opening up about your hopes and fears is hard, even terrifying, but once you do you’ll be surprised at how many people feel the same. Everyone is afraid to talk about themselves in an honest way. A true friendship is based on honesty and trust.
By reading your post, even though we have never met, I feel a connection with you. If we lived near each other, I believe we would be friends.
I dont even know how to reply to all of the comments lol it’s not a lot its just they require more involved answers than i am mentally capable of at the moment. I may answer later though all i can say is appreciate the attempts at helping