Oh my god, it will be today

It have to be. I really can’t suffer from it anymore, I’m not overreacting, I feel like I’m empty, can’t feel anything, happiness, joy, pleasure…. I don’t eat, don’t get out of bed, don’t work. Actually, I’m already dead, but with all the responsibilities of been alive. Pretty sure that this sleeping pills plus the anxiolytics won’t work (70 pills more or less), but I need to do this, there is a possibility. My health is not good. If I woke up in a hospital bedroom, I will have ruined everything, my relatives will consider me crazy.
Hope I can finish it, and it doesn’t hurt. I hope I can support until the end, my siblings and parents who are in the house can’t find it until I am done.
Wish me luck guys