I was emailing a friend about this awhile back and decided it also belonged on SP.
Wouldn’t it be great if bodies could be recharged like computers/tablets/phones?
Feeling tired? Feeling depressed? Ready to drop dead?
No problem!
Just plug yourself into this outlet over here.
Not sure where the other end of the cord would go….
Um.
Just pick an orifice.
Anyway, in a few hours you’d be all charged up and ready for another day of life throwing all the crap it can, like deranged monkeys on crack.
Since I have plenty of orifices but no recharging options available, I’m probably just going to wind my battery down to nothing and die quietly. My warranty expired a long time ago.
25 comments
It’s good to see you, Cordless. I haven’t been writing much lately, if at all, but I wanted to say Hi.
Interesting idea. Recharging would be nice if an improvement in circumstances would make it worth recharging.
Hi there.
It’s good to see you too, and I definitely agree with your last sentence.
well yes it would be nice! plug in and all ready to go full steam! till you started winding dooowwnn talkkkiiiiiggg sssllllloooooowww! ttttrryyyyiiinnnnggg to get to the socket again!!!
i find plugging into orifices wear me out!!! 🙂
Nice rose!
I like it because it looks like it’s made out of blood.
Apparently they censor pictures of my actual blood, but goddammit, I can at least have pictures of roses that LOOK like it at first glance.
Technically, you can plug in… although, it’s probably going to shock your system.
Of all computer features, I’d like a system restore. Just wipe the hard drive and start over.
LOL.
After wiping the hard drive, should I wait about 20 minutes before I start over?
well plugging yourself into an outlet could potentially solve all of your problems…. Just in a different way than recharging :s
If something starts to smell like grilled chicken, you’ll know it worked.
And then we’ll have dinner ^_^
Go right ahead.
As far as I know, I probably taste good with barbecue sauce.
i’d like to take a bite!!! 🙂
Please wait until I am well done.
I’d hate for you to get ecoli or salmonella or something.
I would probably use ranch.
Death by cordless!!! HEY ANOTHER METHOD!!! BEATS BOIGA BOIGA!!!
Two hunters in africa get captured by some native tribe and are givin a choice DEATH! or BOIGA BOIGA!
The first hunter says i don’t want to die!!! BOIGA BOIGA I guess?
so the natives all start screaming BOIGA BOIGA!!! And pull down his pants and you know the rest by the whole tribe!!!!!
the other hunter says fuck that i’d rather die! i chose Death!
and the tribe starts screaming yea!!!!! Death by BOIGA BOIGA!!!!!!!!!!
@shattered_iris: Accghhh! I hate ranch dressing. Please don’t sully my remains by slathering that stuff on me. If at all possible, I will haunt you for the rest of your days.
@rocketman: I…. the…. um. You…. Actually I have no idea what to say to that. So. You win.
😮
But I like though…. I promise not to slather it all your remains then…. Just gentle dipping
Sounds almost like Sex…
Except for the part about being all charged up and ready for another day of life, yes!
😉
Well sticking an electrified cord into one of my orifices seems like it would be more enjoyable than sex would.
Ouch… I guess I have had vastly different experiences than you? Especially after prolonged experiences (ahem) I’ve always been amazed at how depression seemed to melt. The entire world feels new and happy. We both feel fully charged and able to conquer anything.
Then again, I have quite limited experience. Only with people I care a great deal about (being in love, uck). Self-sex has never been even close to the same experience…
As of now, everything seems pointless. And being male, it was probably all physiological/chemicals. FML.
I was always sucked up after sex. Not always, but it certainly didn’t heal my depression…
I think brain regeneration would work better. Healthy people get charged from common food. I think in future, there will be machine that will just regenerate your brain. Than you don’t need to recharge, you have all the energy just from your body.
Well, nice dream, reality is different…
This would be great, if only because I’d be able to jump into a pool and fry myself.
…Now I’m just picturing somebody pulling me out of a pool and dumping me into a wheelbarrow full of rice.