Then one day I woke up from a really nice dream and realized I had no one to tell it to. That incident brought a big change to my soul. Everything became clear. Why this thing happened, why that thing happened. No one was ever there for me when I needed them, so why should I sacrifice even a minute of my life for someone else? I am determined. Not a single second of my life will be spent making others happy. If this makes me an antagonist, or a public enemy, or whatever you call it, let it be. It has been 21 years and I have well understood that trying hard will not earn me the respect from the world, and even if it does, it is meaningless anyway. All our miseries and despair can be explained in one single sentence: the outside world isn’t meant for someone as broken as us.
1 comment
It’s a two way road. A person can’t expect someone “to be there” for him/her if that person doesn’t do the same. Otherwise, it’s an onesided, unstable, and potentially toxic relationship.
Also, I would argue almost the opposite with the outside world statement. For “broken people” it’s even more important to have contact with the outside world. It stops a person from getting lost in themselves, and for a person struggling with issues, that’s a dangerous place. Also, contact with the outside world keeps us open for potential support from others, something that’s extremely benificial.
Anyway, this is your choice, and I hope you find something out of it.