So I have been away for awhile, mostly because my father was home…. which made me value my time without him differently, and a lot of things did happen…. I have no idea what is happening overall though, so many horrible things and so many not horrible things…. I kind of wish I had actually not been a little ***** two Fridays ago and actually had killed myself, I wouldn’t have had to deal with this….
Although I felt pre bad about that, as my closest friend called me the next Sunday, he was upset as one of his other friends had died that Saturday, so I guess if I had killed myself he’d have to deal with two of his friends dying two days in a row, that’d be kind of shitty…. I’m surprised I haven’t cut myself for like a month and a half now…. or really done anything too horrible to myself…. I really want to though.
5 comments
be strong, care for your friend and he will care for you. <3
He’s okay now…. I just had to pick him up because he was too drunk to drive. :/
although it was a bit weird, as he kind of hit on me a bit (which is weird as normally I’m the one hitting on him) this made me worry because I know he wouldn’t have been okay with that sober -_-
at least u were there for him when he needed u. the only thing that’s kept me alive is my cat. I live alone an hour away from anyone that could do anything to stop me from ending it. but the thought of leaving her her alone hurts so much that I havnt been able to do it… i guess when we can’t live for ourselves, having someone else to live for is enough… right?
yeah it’s very nice…. I feel the same way about my cat too…. my closest friend most of the time I don’t feel like he would be that upset as I feel like I’m a burden to him…. But he always tells me that isn’t true, and it probably isn’t…. I would probably take an hour trip to see you -_-