Im still here and i wish i wasnt

Sorry I’m not as big a Jay fan as i was was when i was younger. First couple albums Jay is the best Jay. I spent my gun money on bills. I’ll have to buy a gun when im financially ahead. I was worried about buying it chickening out and shit getting cut off and my family looking at me crazy. I wish i was dead. My past experiences with chickening out is why i chickened out. I still want to die before im officially 29 in less than 2 months we will see how it goes.