WARNING EXPILCTED PLEASE DONT JUGE ME !!!!! I FUCKED UP
So I fucked up .
So you know how everybody says it takes one to get over one.
Well yea that’s fucking bull shit .
So long story short I been talking to this guy for like a few week maybe He was staying near by were I live . so he was like “let’s meet up .”
So. I was like why not so we meet up .I’m nervous as he’ll the last date I was on was five years ago and with some one I knew my whole life . I never even saw a proper picture of this guy . so thought we would just talk and hang out .
(Once again I say it )Long story short it turn into going to third base in the back seat of his friends car . so now I want to die of embarrassment. I want to die because I feel like filth a total sult . not that it’s a bad thing people do it all the time . but this was the second peins I ever saw. Also I feel like a total inexperience slut to boot. When we first kiss it felt awful the only thing I can think of is this is second guy I have ever kiss . then I thought about my ex . so I went along with thinking it would help let off a lot of I don’t know tension been feeling since I had no physical contact in months. But the whole experience was terrblie I had no feeling whole time doing this with this practical stranger no feeling what’s so ever even while things were heating up . it felt like the most awkward thing I ever did . the worst part is this guy really likes me .
And I have no intentions to move forward in any way . I really liked as a friend and don’t get me wrong I was not pressured into it I kinda wanted it as well . but it was just bad the whole ordeal was bad.
now this guy has bad acne so while we were kissing it popped and blood gurshed on my face and the mood was killed . but there was fore play already done with me which was really uneventful. So I had to repay favor *right* .
But being so nervous and never see another dick before or touching one. I made a joke . Unfortunately joke about his dick being small was a big turn off . so it took a Really long time to you know get it working again . so then I realized I have no idea what I’m doing at all so with constant coaching it was working . but the this guy is apparently use to really expeince girls and he and them likes things ruff .
So one I’m petty sure he wanted to fucking strangle Me or suffocate Me while I was going down on him . then he told me to move my face to the side . so I did to only have him fucking wack me in the face with his small dick. ( not that I have seen a lot but, What I have been use to it was fucking thin and short .) so I got mad ask” what the fuck was that .”
His reply was “you didn’t like that ”
“ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT WHO FUCK WANTS THAT?”
His answer was “don’t you watch porn ”
No I fucking do not and if I did it would NOT be with guys slaping girls with his tiny dick. ( not my exact word but you get the point .) so at the end night no one finished and when I asked if he is sure beucase of blue balls I don’t want him to be in pain . he laughed very hard and said “there is no such thing “. to follow
” with he had a girl last week, who suck him off for almost and hour and he couldn’t finsh he will be fine.” Now I’m sitting there shocked embarrassed for asking and honstly thinking can if I catch somthing by giving or getting oral . how the he’ll am I suppose to know if this guy has something or not . So now it’ s 3 am I came home scrubbed my face till it was raw brushed my teeth with Clorox . hating the fact there was only enough for pour on my toothbrushe and not enough to rinse my mouth out or to drink.
And the same time I realized I will never do something like that again no matter what .
Them my stupid brain traveled to how many girls sucked my ex in this past few months . whatever ….
No I have to tell this guy I have don’t see you in any way like that. Also I have no intentions of have physical relation ship either. While worring who the hell is he gonna tell because I threw Caution to the wind. How can I be so stupid .
And I fucking really wanted was to have a friend . nothing more at all this is all my fault .
I Really want to cut and while I was on my way to meet up with him I broke a fucking nail .
Also I this guy and I separated at 1:30am never checked to see if I got home .
THIS WHOLE TAKES ONE TO GET IVER INE IS BULL SHIT !!!! IM CALLING IT . all it did was made me miss my ex and what I had and made me feel more horrible about my self and my out look towards dating guys and especially hooking up because that’s what and I fucking hate it.
What should I do ?
Antother thing was he talked about God like right after and was quoting scriptures. Yea it also says no one should do what we did fucking dumb ass.
9 comments
You’re not the one to blame here, we all take chances with new people and sometimes that doesn’t work out. that’s not your fault. But what you gotta do now is have a sincere talk with him if he does like you and ask him to tell no one if you want it secret and also tell him that you’re not interested/at a point in life where you want to have relationships, and that you just want to be friends. If he’s a decent human then he’ll understand and back off.
@featherling thank you that very good advice and it reasuring to hear I’m not the only one who made this kind of mistake .
Hey Kupo, I’m 47 and got divorced last year and guess what ??? At my age I’ve still made the same mistake, and that’s all you’ve done, made a mistake. It’s called being human. Hell, if i had a dime for everytime i felt like i screwed up, I’d be rich so don’t be so hard on yourself. Featherling has some good advice and is right, if he’s a decent person he’ll do what you ask. I’m not sure if this helps any, but i do hope things work out for you.
Okay this is the strangest thing but…..I literally had the SAME EXACT experience a few weeks ago. I was so confused while reading this thinking that I was the one who wrote and posted it!
Everything down to the tiny details like breaking a nail and him not checking to see if you got home safe happened to me! I did the same exact thing just to get over my ex and it only made me miss him even more. Let’s talk about this, i’d love to offer advise and whatnot. Email me at blissmexx@gmail.com
You can go for an STD test if you’re concerned (yes, it is possible to catch STDs by receiving and administering oral sex without protection). You could go now and then check again in three months.
On the bright side, this was a new experience for you, and now you know you’re not into that sort of thing (hooking up with somebody you’re not dating), so you’ll know what to say no to the next time around. It doesn’t make you a slut, it just makes you curious (we don’t know what we like until we try it).
P.S. You’re right about getting with other people (even simply talking to them) not causing you to forget an ex you’re missing. It doesn’t, not unless you’re completely over that person and ready to move on – and this usually takes a while, especially if it had been a long-term relationship.
I do the same thing… When I try getting to know new people after recent breakups, I just think, “I wish this were my ex instead” (because when you still have feelings for them no one else can compare to that person, if you get what I’m saying), and then I stop talking to those people because they’re not who I want.
It takes time, but if you meet someone new you’re really into, you’ll be able to leave memories of your ex in your past, and you’ll be excited about the thought of being with the latest romantic prospect.
kupo you are totally right about everything you said and felt. “Takes one to get over one” is total bs. Oh also blue balls is a real thing. It doesn’t happen all the time but when it does, ouch, like a sports injury. Maybe he never felt it because it sounds like he doesn’t always get completely, you know. ALSO, wtf is up with him trying to be like a porn video. Most people know the difference between porn and real life, I thought. The whole choking and smacking thing smh. I mean if he isn’t “equipped” to be a porn star, then why is he trying to act like one. I’m really sorry you had this experience, it sounds awful. I’m really glad that you didn’t go all the way for what it’s worth. We all know the feeling of thinking physical contact will make up for the mental/emotional pain we feel. It makes sense that you had to try. And you knew to stop it when you realized it wouldn’t work. Don’t let anyone (least of all yourself) make you feel like you messed up.
Casual sex sucks. I hate it.
Everyone does and everyone most of the time feel like you.
The worst part is people telling lies to friends that it was marvellous and bla bla bla after have felt exactly like you.
It’s normal sex after the divorce is a shit and makes us feel like shit. It will happen for a long time yet.
I gave up casual sex and may be I’ll give up relashionships too. Too much work for almost nothing.
P.s. this guy did everything wrong! U have to talk during sex and ask what the girl/guy likes and wants. He pushed you into his favourite thing without pay attention on you. What a pig!
And yes…tiny penis are awful. Next time ask the guy before make out with him. It’s not his fault but you have the right to choose bigger ones.