I have a long string of failures following me. I should just turn that mother fucker into noose and just end it.
I can’t get over how I told my mother I was suicidal when the shit hit the fan and she like waved it off. Its been over a year since everything and she decided to bring it while I was in a good mood. Its like she only brought up to make sure she got something off her chest. Throwing blame and trying to become a victim of somthing. While I sat there saying yep I wanted kill myself to still kinda do. Depends in the day really.
She just condemed me and made fun and then end if story no help . pretty sure I have severe depression and mental damage. Only person I can blame is myself not for being strong . for not being what my ex inlaws wanted for what my ex husband wanted, that made them all hate me. And allowing my self to break so easily .
I’m in a relationship now and how he likes me I don’t know why. I have failed him time after time and have not shown him he can trust me financially to be some one he can marry but he dose. I have no fucking idea why?
I’m just miserable. I don’t understand why I can’t change .