I am in so much fucking pain right now. And I have to work today. I don’t know if I’ll be able to fucking walk. My back pain is excruciating and I feel short of breath. My ribs keep popping and sliding. I can hardly move at times. I should have gone to the doctor years ago. It’s never gotten this bad, though. Pretty sure it’s scoliosis. Fuck me. Wai.
Took some hydroxozine so hopefully I’ll be able to sleep. It’s just so difficult without Anthony around. He’s asleep right now and he didn’t answer my calls. I needed someone to take my mind of of things. Tried calling other friends and they did not answer.
Oh. I passed my high school classes, by the way. I was planning on finishing my AA at the community college. It seems that my health might get in the way, yet again. *sigh*
Funny story! I had to stay awake for 3 days straight so I could finish my classes. By the end of it, I went on autopilot while taking my English final. Could not understand a word. And I started to hallucinate. And almost passed out.
I just want to relax. I even prayed to God. To take away my pain. To not let it be something serious. To let it be something that I can handle. I fucking prayed to be spared from a spinal disk injury.
I should be going out and getting my tattoo instead of this. I should be eating more. I should be sleeping soundly. I know it sounds petty, but I wanna have a NORMAL LIFE AS AN EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD. THIS SHOULDNT BE HAPPENING fUCK IT HURTS
I guess it’s not as bad as emotional pain. I don’t think it will ever be that bad.
6 comments
And I got a higher dosage for my antidepressant. Whoop whoop.
You should at least see a doctor and find out for sure, if it is scoliosis, especially if it is still getting worse. Congratulations on passing your classes. Although staying up for 3 days straight to do it is not good lol.
Made an appointment for a week from now.
That was the soonest they could see me 🙁
hey keep in mind you gotta fight for yourself. some doctors won’t take you seriously, you need to keep going and asking, sometimes changing doctors. Doctors also just people, and most of the people i have met are assholes.
Well just make sure you keep the appointment, you waited years so another week won’t change anything. Do you have any pain medication you can use for now? Maybe see if someone has some left over prescription strength pain medication they might give you. Or muscle relaxants. If it gets too unbearable you could try an urgent care or even emergency room. Probably have a long wait at those though and best they might do is run a few tests and give you a prescription for some pain medication and tell you to go see your doctor next week.