So i havent really told anyone about this but this is my story in a nutshell.
So when i was a kid i used to cry alot like normal children do and my mother used to send me to my grandma because she got sick of me. To think about it if not i was treated like a foster kid… usually checked in by my mom but i spent a major time in my grandma’s house. I was brought up with my twin brother and my older brother so not to state the obvious i was kinda boyish and my mom treated me like one too, maybe because she never wanted a girl to begin with. All my childhood i was mostly beaten up by my mother and very often abused and treated badly compared to my brothers. Made me feel like i was a mistake. i probably am. Along with that both my parents used to fight alot. Sometimes my mother or father would leave the house for days and as a kid it made me think many different things. One night it got so bad my mom was actually bleeding from her mouth. My dad sometimes hit her… so not to say i developed PTSD along with severe depression at the age on 7 when i first tried to hang myself. Tried multiple times but couldnt do it. Things were more or less like this till now. My mom still hits me not so often but i get criticized,mocked, felt worthless almost on a daily basis. My parents fight but rarely yet it keeps me awake at night sometimes just having flashbacks. I tried to drink bleach recently it didnt work out either…
Its like my mom expects me to be perfect and the perfect girl after treating me like a boy all these years and god forbid i make a mistake all hell might loose break… The stuff i hear her say about me is just…. no kid should hear that.
So this is my story in a nutshell. Im 15 days clean now but things get tough sometimes.
7 comments
Hello , depressive_cries . It seems that you’ve been trough a lot but you know , you really look like a strong person and if you managed to get here i am sure you have things to do , dreams to achieve and believe me , if you have something like this you should try and give life a chance . And , i know this may sound weird but we seem to be have many things in common . If you ever want to talk , just say it .
Are you 18? If so, why do you still deal with your mother?
i am 18 too and i am still dealing with my parents and my brother … you know this too , depression kills you so you can’t even try to survive on your own … you either win or die … most of us die .
Stay alive friend
No im not 18… im 15 and in two years i’ll be done with school and off to college. Im holding on for these two years because after that i wont have to deal with what i do on a daily basis
Research ‘Malignant Narcissist(ic) Mothers’
…and remember, depressive_cries …knowledge is power !
*Hugs*
Your story is heartbreaking. It is so sad that your parents have put you through those experiences, but I think the more you analyze the reason for their behavior, you will see that they likely suffer from deep internal issues. You should try not to see them as role models or as a part of who you are. They may have decided to procreate but it is nature that truly created you, and some of the beings nature creates are much more fit to be a role model for you to follow. So try to find some positive idols to look up to, people who would never treat you like this, people who would always encourage you to keep trying and to ignore the negative opinions of people who do not understand you. You do seem like a strong person, the type of childhood you have had would deeply affect any human being. But you have made it this far and that is a real accomplishment.