unlovable

my significant other has narcissistic personality dissorder. typically narcissists are incapable of loving and are extremely manipulative. he is maipulative for sure and im sure hes incapable of loving me, but for some reason i refuse to believe that. im aware of it but i keep pushing it off like its nothing. the person i was with before this, about two years ago, hated himself too much to love anyone. i strongly believe you have to love yourself before loving someone else, therefore i believe he never did love me. this has made me aware of a pattern ive created in relationships. i never find myself with someone thats capable of love and my friend had told me its because i choose broken people and that i cant help that. and i know that i do this. i prefer broken people. being with someone thats never had a hard time seems so boring. but i cant keep going on giving all of my love to people that will never love me back. and its starting to make me think im unlovable. i dont know if anyone can relate, i just needed to get this out