This basically is my letter/poem thingy to my ex because I will never be able to say these things to her.
I hate you simple as that.
I hate your stupid smile.
I hate that dumb little laugh you did
when we were drunk and I went to kiss you
and missed your lips by an inch
I hate every goddamn thing about you.
AND GOD OH GOD DO I HATE
THAT YOU LEFT ME AND LET ME WONDER WHAT
I DID WRONG BECAUSE YOU KNEW I WOULD
SIT IN MY ROOM AND LAY IN BALL AND REPLAY EVERY WORD
I SAID IN MY HEAD
OVER.
AND OVER.
AND OVER AGAIN.
Just trying to figure out what I said that was wrong
I love everything about you.
Simple as that.
I love your stupid smile.
And the dumb little laugh you did
when we were drunk and I went in to kiss your lips
and missed them by an inch.
BUT GOD OH GOD
DO I LOVE THE WAY YOU WOULD
COME BACK AND SAY “I’M SORRY”
FOR LEAVING IT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN AND
THEN YOU HELD ME IN UR ARMS
AND MADE ME FEEL SAFE AGAIN.
8 comments
This was beautiful. I know how it feels to be drowning, and yet the person who put a whole in your ship is exactly the hand you need to pull you up. It’s miserable and exhausting.
But hang in there darling.
thank you so much and yea it is really hard but i know i will get over it
I wish I could feel the hate part. I only feel the love and longing and rejection. I am dying of a broken heart and it’s been 5 months since I have seen him. Doesn’t the hate part make it a little easier?
I haven’t talked to her or seen her in months i was in counseling during the whole relationship. and during the breakup and i still am. It never gets easier i can hear a song we used to listen to and tear up and i haven’t deleted her photos off my phone so seeing those hurts but the hate is slowing going away and more of the moving on is coming and i guess that is what you just need to wait for. The moving on. Thats the easiest part no matter what anyone tells you. Because it comes naturally dont force it.
Thanks. I can’t even imagine being close to moving on right now. All I can think about is moving out . Of this world. My problem is that I am a single mom to a 9 year old. No one else to take care of him. So I feel trapped.
My Grandfather killed himself and left my Grandma and Mom behind. My mom was about 3 and it still effects her to this day. Your child loves you very much and i know this because every child loves their mother. It will hurt him it will fuck him up so please stay stong and look for help and dont stop till you find it.
Are you still on here great? I’m doing better lately, still hanging on. I wanted to tell you that what you wrote about looking for help and not stopping until I find it really helped me. Thanks. Hope you are still around
Thanks – still here and still trying. I have an appointment with a psychic next week – I am ready to try just about anything at this point! I hope that you feel better too.