i am self harming and have not been this suicidal in years
harming myself has never felt this good and i am so tempted to run out the house towards the tracks to just finally have some peace
i am merely a broken mess, i would be missed yes, but i would not miss myself
i only miss my brother
2 comments
I remember you posting the story of your brother years ago. Suicide is contagious. Right down to the method.
I’m not going to tell you that you shouldn’t do it. I’m not even going to tell you that self harming is bad. I’m sure that given the choice you would not do either of those things, but sometimes we don’t have a choice.
You would think that we would get over the loss of loved ones. Everyone else seems to be able to do that. But for some of us, the wound stays open.
Maybe all you need is to visit the tracks and lay down on them for a minute when there aren’t any trains coming. The thought of killing myself is somewhat comforting, but when I get close to “pulling the trigger” I always get second thoughts.
Maybe it will help maybe it won’t. Depression is the worst suite of pain any human can sustain over time.