If something doesn’t change soon, I have a feeling I will hang myself possibly next month.
I sometimes wake up feeling extremely tired and have small panic attacks. My emotions feel very raw when I wake up. It’s like that when I get back home too actually.
Basically it’s the same thing everyday.
I wake up miserably and when my emotions become “manageable”, I just get ready. Every second I am out I always think to myself “please something kill me already”. The day passes on as usual, I get back home feeling tired, I go to my room, maybe write a few notes on my phone about how hellish this life is and sometimes cry over my regrets in life for quite a while and this tears seem to be becoming more frequent. Just yesterday I spent the whole day like this until I fell asleep. I am losing weight again too since I just can’t eat like this.
Anyways, that’s the cycle I’ve lived for 5 years. I have much to be sad about and honestly it really is too late to fix this life. I don’t even know if I want to try anti-depressants again. I don’t like the “trial-and-error” style of doing things so I just stopped trying with them.. I just don’t see the point..
13 comments
According to Martin Seligman, you need positive emotions, engagement, positive relationships, meaning, and accomplishment for well-being.
So positive emotions are pleasure, you need some pleasure in your life.
Engagement is flow, you need to do something that grabs your attention and makes you forget your surroundings.
Positive relationships are relationships with people you want to be around.
Meaning is doing something for a greater good.
Accomplishment is getting good at something, achieving results.
I really think you should find an activity you enjoy and do it in a social setting. It might be a sport or a hobby, anything you can do regularly with others.
It sounds like you spend much too much time on your own, grieving for the past. Anyone would be driven to despair in those conditions.
I am a lot like you, but at least to an extent I know what I am doing wrong.
And get your sleep, it is vital for your mental health.
First of, and this comes from my doctors, and not just some housewife blog, anti-depressants only work effectively on about 40% of people/cases, this is a 60% failure rate, it can be increased slightly by other means too, but on it’s own without other steps they work less often than they succeed.
Secondly, there are different types and dosage of anti-depressants, so while some might not work for you, others might. They all have one thing in common, they work best with other means of change and help.
I would never discourage anyone from getting anti-depressants, since not only can they work, they can be a much needed tiny lift to just get the other things going that will truly help.
BUT, do NOT EVER!, think anti-depressants on it’s own is some magic little pill that instantly makes things better, I’m surprised how often I’ve seen this thought in people
(not saying you are one of those, doesn’t seem so, still just had to say it)
Don’t stop/give up on them until you have tried it all, or adverse effects becomes an issue, which a good doctor should be aware off/monitoring, when attempting to find the proper drug and dosage.
Just remember, if you want to get out of it, you need more than the drugs alone, they CAN help, there is the chance of that, but therapy works 1000% better than drugs alone, and even better when combined. Exercise, diet, hobbies, finding a passion, all increase the chances of it working.
BUT you have to keep at it, too many make the mistake, “now I feel better now I stop the meds, or one of the other things”, which leads to the roller coaster treatment, need to stick with it once finding something that works.
And it might have to be multiple things at once, therapy, counseling, group/support meetings, exercise, music, meditation, diet, social interactions.
Hell you might even have some un-diagnosed condition either contributing or causing some of the tings going on in your life, which might turn out treatable, but needing to be uncovered and diagnosed first.
It’s a fight, and if you want to get better you need to accept that, but even fighting uphill isn’t impossible to win.
See if you can’t find enough strength left in yourself to give it try and maybe then you can fight a little more.
Best wishes
Yes, they help me. In fact, thier effectiveness is almost magical. I am only referring to SSRIs – Prozac, Zoloft, Buproprion, and Paxil have been very good to me. Much of this probably has to do with my predilection towards a strong placebo response and my almost religious belief in the effectiveness of modern pharmacology.
Zoloft kind of worked out for me while I was taking it, I was feeling pre okay…. But I eventually stopped and just didn’t want to start again…. I would state that you may want to try some other things if you are still willing too…. I just decided that I didn’t like taking medicine everyday and also wasn’t fond of the price tag (even though Zoloft is cheap)
off brand drugs = exactly same drug, but a fraction of the price, = the same smiley you with more money for icecream = more smiley face, because icecream = smiley Snorlax
Brand name drugs should be damn illegal for the price gouging they do, and lobbying to doctors/insurance/******, to only prescribe/cover/dispense name brands in some instances
I was using off brand Zoloft….. Still called it Zoloft though, it was costing like $5 per 90 100mg pills…. but that was still seeming like too much for me…. that would be an extra $5 per three months that I would have access to -_- and also the price was constantly slightly raising as my insurance started covering less and less each time, which scared me a lot.
by “still called it Zoloft though” I mean I still called it Zoloft people recognize that before they recognize sertraline.
For me. YES there were times when I was very depressed and anti-deprssants did help me survive.
SO Yes they can help a lot of people when they are in very bad times. BUT also I dont believe that pills are always the total solution for everything in life. SO YES, I do believe anti-depressants can help a lot of people when they need them… but I also believe that we also need to take inventory of our own life and try to solve some of the issues in life that are making us depressed and so forth.
Sometimes if we change things in our life > we can make the depression and anxiety go away.
I wish you the best
I hope you make it through the hard times you are going through
The thing about psych meds in general is they can help, but they can also make things worse. I have tried many different meds and although they help, alot of them do have horrible side effects, and are hard to get off of due to withdrawal. Take Cymbalta for instance, I have been stuck on that med for 3 years because the withdrawal when I try to wean down is so bad, I can’t get off of it. I have constant brainfog and other side effects from taking it though, and truthfully i wish I had never started it. Sometimes it’s a question about quality of life. There are times that it is worth taking a med even if it does have side effects. For example, before tying Remeron I had horrible insomnia, and was severely underweight. Since taking remeron I have gained a ton of healthy weight, and sleep 8 hours a night. I wish I didn’t feel sedated, and tried during the day from it, but when I consider being too sick to eat starving, and not sleeping to the point of mental breakdowns, vs some sedation. I have to choose sedation. I would say meds absolutely hae the potential to help if used right, and have to potential to cause harm if not used right. If you do decide to try meds proceed with caution, be your own advocate, stay informed on what you are taking, and try not to get on 6 at the same time like I did, because the side effects of 6 meds is hell, and the withdrawal is even worse.
I was prescribed the “Happy Pills” by my Doctor many, many times. And despite what everyone says they DO NOT always work, basically Anti Depressants are a painkiller for your gunshot wound. They “numb” the pain while your on them BUT once you get off them the agony you had before is 100x worse.
I have tried Prozac, Zoloft, Trazodone, Cymbalta, Wellbutrin, and Lyrica.
None helped at all, and some of them had terrible side effects.
Currently I’m trying Amitryptalin.
No difference yet, positive or negative.
I’ve tried almost all of them. They didn’t work for me. You never know though, you might find one that does improve your life. One of my best friends that I grew up with claims one saved his life. Might as well keep trying because the alternative isn’t good for anybody.
NO !!