So i’m getting fucking help!! Anyone who feels they want help and have still got hope go ahead, might save ya, but I personally don’t want it.
I just got drunk last week and spewed out I was suicidal, dunno why tbh, just the alcohol talking. (don’t be too honest when ya drunk) Now my relatives know I’m this suicide guy, and I’m going to see some suicide expert who’s probably gonna be a poncy twat. I’ll just smile and say I’ve changed my mind on suicide, stonewall him/her about my feelings then in a few weeks or months hopefully still pop myself…
I ran out of methods. Can’t tie a noose, and even though I’ve researched I’m not much wiser. No tall buildings nearby, no access to guns, tablets aint effective, and I dunno where the fuck to start with helium. Can’t do the train, not fair on family or driver and I aint got the nuts for the Chattanooga choo-choo coming to my head at 200mph, fuck that!
I’ll just a while and just try from 6 or 7 stories even though it’s no guarentee or travel deep to high cliffs.
8 comments
Perhaps you can give the guy a chance to work with you. Things in your life might improve just a little bit. At worst, you’re in the same position that you’re in right now.
Some people on here could be with help, some people just wanna pop it, im the latter lol, so I’ll just bullshit this guy/girl.
If what you truly want is the end, I feel ya, and I’m not here to discourage you, not my place.
But if that is the case it sounds a bit like you are over-complicating a “simple” matter, with the plethora of methods available.
If some of those methods scare you, then you could try another, or maybe it’s a sign, that maybe you really want something more.
And if there is that tiny slim chance you do want something more, maybe give the ponce a try, or some other if it turns out he is too much of a poncy twat to bear.
In either case I wish you the best man, on whichever path the journey takes you, I hope it’s goes more smoothly, and that it ends how you truly desire.
Been down that road too. Never let a shrink into the sour spot of suicide. Better off to keep it inside because if you let it out all the other brain dead people around you will try to “help” and only complicate the route. I blurted this out several years ago before my cancer was found, and everyone got involved trying to cheer me up. Be cautious….a whole can of crap dumps in your lap if you do. I wish you the best. All I can say is by not acting on my cancer was the best thing I could have done, now its way too late, and I’m happy with my decision.
I saw a shrink for a couple of years – Mother fucker pumped me full of tablets Took a couple of grand off me for his great work .. Even destroyed my marriage . I DO BLAME the shrink and his fucking yip yap and his fuckin pills for what I am today .. I was a mess when I asked for help and just got messier . I’ve seen a few of these wonder fucks – For me they make no sense ..and I’m sure ya can get a Cert over the internet , even a A4 piece of paper with ya name on it saying your a qualified Skull shrink .. I’m sure some people find comfort in talking to these people BUT Like woody – I don’t want to hear another word from a fuckin stranger telling me about hope and future .. When my family and friends found out I was suicidal they treated me like a fuck-wit . My life changed there and then .. WOODY — DON’T try the car exhaust thing ..(READ MY POST) That was my fuck up . I’m with you I couldn’t think of being able to throw myself in front a train or truck .. Helium – I’m thinking of getting a bottle from a party shop — They hire them out for kids balloon parties .. FIRST I’m going to do my Homework as I hate to fail at shit .. All ways have.. Letting Death beat me is just fucked up … I don’t want to fail and have brain damage or failing livers an lungs an shit .. I don’t want to be found with a stretched neck or head missing .. Though you’d be dead and wouldn’t give a shit about anything anyway . If you jump woody and your head splatters .. Somebody will still have to clean up ..Fair?? I don’t know . For the best part of my time now will be concentrating on picking up some Vallium and looking into Having a balloon party for one . Till I get REAL with this shit I’ll just prey for that heart attack in my sleep .. That would shock the haters ..
I’ve seen some therapists that have helped me, some that didn’t. I’ve taken meds that have helped me, some that didn’t. The only thing that made me worse was me.
If you want help a therapist can be helpful. If you don’t, the therapist is going to try to lead you to a place where accepting help seems like a good idea. If you reject it all, if you let anger or fear rule you, then nobody can help.
Look, I’ll be the first person to admit our society is fucked up and even the entire planet is looking pretty dodgey… dogey? On top of that I’ve had a fucking awful year. But last weekend I saw a sunrise that made me feel good that I was alive. There is no fucking way the good in that sunrise cancelled out the shit I’ve been through lately. But perspective can be so powerful it can work miracles – just like depression can be so powerful that it hastens your death.
I may kill myself next year or next month. I don’t know. I’ve learned the best thing for me, happy or sad, is to focus on getting through the day.
Yeah, I just lied through my teeth. “No those suicide thoughts are all behind me now” whilst thinking to myself “where’s the nearest fucking bridge”
I once sat in my psychiatrists office, feeling nauseous like I’m about to vomit, from all the regurgitated babble he kept spewing at me. When a thought hits me
“Hey, we are on what, the 5th floor? I bet I can make it to that window before he manages to block me, and if I dive headfirst that will probably take care of business”
Interrupted by him saying: “see you next tuesday 2pm”
I smile and say: “See you next tuesday at 2pm”
see, I can regurgitate bullshit too