Hypothetical Note

Hello. I want to write a hypothetical suicide note. I’ve been thinking about this for a few so here it goes:

I felt bad, so I left. I didn’t want to deal with all the disappointments that life had left to offer so I stopped. You probably don’t want to understand, and I understand that. Right now it might feel shitty, but you will get through this. Or maybe you’re glad that I did this. In that case, you’re welcome. There’s not much to say but here it goes.
To my family:
Hey mom and dad. You must be having a difficult time with this. Or maybe you aren’t. Honestly it’s hard to figure out what’s going in your heads and really I don’t care. You might be grieving, and that’s fine. Know that you will get through this. If you are wondering how Aldo will take it, don’t worry. He will just get up after a while and brush himself off. Soon he will get on with his life and only ever think about me when people ask him questions about his family. Eventually I’ll just be some vague memory to him. He will be fine. To my extended family. Let’s be honest, you guys don’t even talk to me. Aunts Uncles, you guys are so busy with your own family that you barely even talk to me. I get it, you got your own thing going on. Some of you couldn’t give less of a shit to see this note. Cousins, I barely even talk to you people anymore and there are like 30 of us. One less won’t do any harm. Grandparents I hope you forgive me.

To my schoolmates:
Let’s be real none of you give a shit. None of you actually knew me, with the exception of Mark, who only knew some of me. I give it 15 min tops and you guys will go back to worrying about what ever asinine test you have that day. I was always “that guy” you would see around. Some of you were annoyed by me, some of you just played along with trying to be nice, and others were just indifferent. I was the background character to all of your grandiose plays. To Mark, please don’t take this the wrong way. I just wasn’t happy. I know that you really tried to bring me back up, but there just was no up to go to. Please take care of yourself. I know how hypocritical that might sound, and maybe I lost the right to tell you that. I hope that you forgive me and don’t do anything stupid. We will always be brothers.

Well that’s that. Do whatever you want with the body. Won’t be needing it. I’d like to say that I’m sorry or that I just couldn’t take it or what have you. Truth is I’m not sorry and I did this knowing full well that I could have gone on if I really forced myself to. I did this with full consciousness knowing that things just weren’t going to work out and that I didn’t want to deal with it. With that said goodbye. I finally get my silence.

There’s my note. Probably won’t be using it anytime soon. Just don’t have the guts. Although I might be close. Who knows. Thanks for listening.