Ive suffered with severe depression and suicidal thoughts/tendencies for a number of years. Counseling, therapy, medication, hospitals.. Nothing helped. Overtime & lifestyle changes, I believed I defeated it. For the past year or so Ive been nothing but happy, upbeat, positive & full of life. However within recent months, Ive fallen back into depression. Or was it truly never gone, but only tucked away? Idk. Suicide is a reoccurring thought again and Ive been self harming. I hate it, I hate myself. I cant go through this again, I cant. I dont want to feel like this anymore. I want to give up.
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2 comments
We are in the same boat my friend. What a terrible disease depression is! I hate myself and I hate this disease that makes me hate myself. Some part of me still thinks there is hope. I’m not sure why, but I just feel it in my bones.
Thank you for sharing that with me. It helps to know that Im not the only one, it feels like that almost all the time. I hope for both of us to be relieved of this awful disease.