My family is screaming their heads off at me because my dog pooped outside and my sister stepped in it. I’m sorry, everybody poops! They get mad when it poops inside, outside, heck, anywhere! But it’s the only thing that keeps me alive, and they know that. Once, my dad said he hates me and he’s never apologized. Every time I fail, or cry, or fall, I see it in their eyes. I am a complete failure. Even by posting this I feel like an idiot for being suicidal over something so stupid, but I am, so screw it anymore, I can’t change that. This is all I have, it’s my solace, but even then, I feel alone.
All I want is a friend.
2 comments
You are never alone
Hang with me for a while if you can, this might get convoluted…
There are people out there that like to think, that we all are or they are these little special unique one-of-a-kind snowflakes
Then there is the consensus we are about 7.5 billion people on the earth give or take few of those so called “snowflakes”
If we are 7.5 billion snowflakes bundled up together on this earth, it could be considered mildly arrogant to think each snowflake is truly unique, and even if it were, that it’s “uniqueness” mattered, since it just disappear equally among the others in the masses
Assuming then there are others out there like you, the obstacle then “only” becomes finding them. Now that might actual pose a “needle in a haystack”-like challenge, but thankful to our day and age’s advances, the world has actually become significantly smaller,
so what might have been near impossible, suddenly became less so…
But if you can start just on the notion, we might not be so different at all, like others might have you believe. That there are in fact others out there just like you
People that either feel the seem, endure the same, hell might even live through the exact same stuff, and have the same diagnose you do.
If you can take heart that they are out there, even if you haven’t found them yet, that they are like you in almost every way, meaning they too are looking for a friend. That they might be thinking and feeling the exact same things you do in the same moment.
Then there is always someone with you, even if he/she isn’t standing next to you, they are there, even if you haven’t found each other yet.
If you can keep that with you, you should know, you are never truly alone.
You are not a failure. If you hear this words 100 times a day, see it in their eyes, etc, you begin to believe it. If you were told how cool you were all the time, you’d believe that. The support you should be getting at home you’re going to have to seek out yourself. Like here. BTW…you sound pretty cool to me, taking care of the dog and all… ?