A mother is supposesd to love you, to support you, to be there for you, to build you up in life.. but my mother is destorying me… i don’t know what to.. i can’t walk away cz shes my mother.. maybe killing myself is the only way to save myself..
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Yesss you can walk away!! if she’s not a good mother why should you be a good daughter?
If she is killing you physically or mentally, you need to leave.
I was raised by a narcissitic woman with an unhealthy obsession with me. The only escape was to run far far far. As far as I could. You can walk away. You owe her nothing.
Parents are obligated to provide their children unconditional love and acceptance in a safe environment. I would argue that all adults owe that to all children but that is an argument for another day. Minimum they owe their own children that. Your mother by not providing that has violated the most basic of parent child contracts. Walk away.
Your experience is not uncommon, yet not commonly talked about. All three of these other commenters sound like the voice of experience to me.
My mother would argue that she’s an amazing mother. In many ways she was. In some ways, she was not, and those ways really damaged me. I walked away. It saved my life. It was still hard. Is, still hard. But now at least I’m working stuff out, which I wouldn’t have done, still living as part of her orbit.
The only reason I’ve lived as long as I have is because I left mine. I made the mistake of trying to reconnect only for my mental health to decline more and for her to betray me for my abusive ex husband. Not every mother deserves to be a mom. Just because she gave you life doesn’t mean you owe that life to her.
Flower, not sure of your age but if you are able to get away from her,do so. I believe in getting rid of any toxic people that are in any way a negative aspect in your life if it’s possible and this includes parents. I think many parents and children are in codependent relationships that are toxic to one another and both live a life of hell because if it. It’s hard cause it is your mother, but if you are of legal age you have every right to walk away from the relationship and/or set a healthy boundary with her. Your happiness and well being is what matters most and shouldn’t take back seat just cause she’s your mother. Stand up for yourself, you deserve it.