One of the biggest frustrations in my life is the reality that most people don’t understand disabling conditions like depression, PTSD, anxiety, severe chronic pain – the sometimes “invisible” things that can take away our will to live. I hate to put it in such simplistic terms, but if you’ve never cut yourself you have no idea what it means to bleed no matter how empathetic you think you are or how much sympathy you believe you have for others. Doctors and psychiatrists frequently have no clue what we go through when they swear an oath that they will provide patients with responsible care and treatment, which includes issues affecting quality of life. But all I’ve ever found are providers that either go into private practice to make bundles of money from a specialty or back yard wrench monkeys that work for HMO’s so they can have job security no matter how incompetent, lazy or stupid they are.
All I want is to crawl into a hole somewhere and die. After all the years I have worked to carve out some kind of life for myself nothing I do works. It has all been for absolutely nothing. As a nurse said to me a few weeks ago, “You are too young to be so old.”
1 comment
Exactly. EXACTLY. Nobody can know 100% how it is unless they have been there…… and even then, you can’t know 100% because each person’s experience is slightly (or much) different than the other. People are so fucking stupid, how do they not understand this?
I know why, because it took for me to be a suicidal cutting person to have an extremely open mind….as i’ve grown up, i have progressively gained an open mind, but none more so than when I wanted to die, and constantly cutting myself. Now I have a great gift, at the cost of my own life…….. tch..