Got to Focus on Me

Hello. I need to focus on myself. Today I tried talking to my mom. She wasn’t saying anything to me and just sat there. Then she said “We don’t really talk anymore.”. I just looked at her and said ok ok ok and left. I didn’t want to deal with it. She might be going through depression issues. Ironic. Its funny because it seems she expects me to talk to her more and cheer he up and shit. I know I can’t go talk to her about any of this. I just can’t. What’s the point. She isn’t a terrible mother. She doesn’t abuse me or anything. She does berate me though. Always says that I’m lazy and selfish. I guess she’s not wrong. It could be worse. Point is that I need to figure out what’s going in my head. I can’t worry about her. I don’t want to worry about her. I think I stopped trying to confide in her a long time ago. I just don’t see any point anymore. She isn’t the compassionate type. You know I could worry about how offing myself would effect her, but I just don’t care. I can think of a million and one times where she could have been a bit more nicer to me. I guess I sound like a spoiled brat. I want mommy to be nice to me wahh wahh. You know what I absolutely hated about her. Whenever she would yell at me and I would start to cry as a kid she would always say “Why are you crying? Stop crying!”. I guess that’s why I stopped confiding in her. Why should I show her that weak side of me? I’m on my own. No point in trying. Thanks for listening.