First day back after holidays and I’m already drunk and a wreck. Someone (very nice) teased me today… and i started to cry. I couldnt control it.. the tears just started to flow. They were apologetic but i was humiliated. I cant even take a joke anymore. I felt exposed.. vulnerable.
I felt low so messaged someone i deeply cared about… an hour later and they haven’t replied. Im sure they dont care. They meant so much to me.. i want to cry and for them to comfort me … but no friend wants that kind of pressure. No one wants that. Im alone. Alone with these feelings. Why must this be so painful. Why did i have to message them.. and have them not msg?. I ran into someone the other day who i secretly admired and had a crush on. It made me happy… but now..Who would like such a wreck of a human?
It’s unbearable i dont want to do this anymore.
2017 is starting off to a wretched start
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I want to scream at him!!!@ tell him to fuck off and im miserable without him.
But i want to tell him i love him too . That i miss him so much. That he’s my best friend and the only person who really knows me. But i feel him pushing himself away. There’s no feelings in his messages anymore. I probably should let himgo but i dont want to!!!!! Im so angry at him. For not feeling the same way i do. He doesn’t thinkabout him yet i think about hin everyday.
Whhhhhhhyyhhhhhh. Please let me sleep forever and not wake up
Maybe i should screenshot this and show him how much im hurting
Well he can go off with all his tanned hot bitches. I dont care. Im obviously not his type. What a fuck
Okay goodnight yo
Yes life can be rough when we come to feel like other people dont care about us.
What I would suggest is that you try to take some time to just improve yourself in life
Work on your social skills, work on your appearance. Work on trying to work and make money.
Stay away from mean people. Try to learn not to get offended easily if people tease you.
Try to find a few friends… or even just one friend that you can talk to that will build you up in life and help you along. Try to find interaction with people that is positive.
when you are not working or doing things you need to do in life…. then find a few things you can do that bring you you. Like a hobby or a pastine or maybe to just go out and listen to live music somewhere
try to stay away from vices like alcohol and drugs and other stuff like that
spend your time doing things that are positive > like exercise, music, journaling reading, positive social interaction and so forth.
try to believe that things can get better and then make little steps every day to get there
I wish you the best and hope that things get better for you.