I know, “life isn’t fair”, right? That’s what everyone who hasn’t had the worst things happen to them say to others, people who have no right to say these things. It’s like living in a glass house, or mansion, looking down at the peasants who complain about how hard life is and saying, “well life isn’t fair for everyone.”
Well FUCK YOU. Fuck you all. Fuck you shitty assholes and fuck you universe for constantly raining down shit on me. All those hardships, all that suffering.
I’ve had a lot of shitty things happen to me as a child, and no I don’t mean small things like “oh mommy and daddy never held me often enough” type of crap.
Too long to go into history, but even all those atrocities aside, WHY THE FUCK WON’T THE UNIVERSE LET UP ON GIVING ME MISERY STILL? I thought that all the pain and suffering would end, as soon as I grew up and wasn’t in that bad environment anymore, but no. Throughout my adulthood, fate or the universe, or what have you, has made it a never-ending goal to constantly throw more shit at me, different kinds of shit, but shit nonetheless, as if I hadn’t had enough suffering. No, not enough suffering for you says the universe.
I sincerely believe the universe would only be happy if I manage to off myself, but alas, one cannot even do that with how hard it is to commit suicide, or at least painless 100% effective suicides.
Sigh. I’m tired of this shit.
(PS- I’m feeling more tired and angry than suicidal, although it’s kinda odd you can be both tired and angry at the same time).
7 comments
I agree and that horseshit about life being what you make it is also horseshit. If t;here is a God he is either bored and randomly picking people to have fun with or we are reincarnated people who were rich and total a-holes with their money or other famous people who are now having to suffer until their next change. Odd way of looking at it but I see so many people who seem to have everything go so easily for them and then there are those of us that have to struggle for everything we have and still do not have chit.
I hope that when I pull the trigger I can have the mystery explained or at least be transformed into something that does not have to work as hard as this person does.
I’m on sort of a rotten state of mind today, so i kinda agree with your post. TBH tho, my guess is that the universe doesn’t have a mind of it’s own, and if it did it wouldn’t give a shit about individual circumstances. I don’t know if there’s such thing as fate, but i’d rather believe that it’s all random and some people just got a bad deal to begin with. I mean, 7+ billions people… how could each and everyone of them have a assigned fate that doesn’t interfere with everybody elses?
That said, yeah, i still get upset when i go out and i see (apparently) happy people with relationships/things that i’d wish i had. Really makes me wonder how this snowball i call life got me to this place i’m at (physically and mentally) along the years.
Imagine a coin toss. 50/50 chance of it landing heads or tails- IF the sample size is large enough, i.e. you throw it enough times- in aggregate. Is it possible to throw 9/10 and have it land on tails? Sure. Statistically, that is very probable. Throw it 90/100 and it lands on tails? Sure, it can happen. Assume tails is bad luck or what have you. That would be me. Is there someone on the planet who throws the coin 90/100 and it lands on heads? Of course!
There are people that have unusually good things happen to them, just weird good things happen that just don’t happen to other people. Then there are people like me. I’ve seen it with other people I know too where no matter what, shit just happens to them, doesn’t matter if they “think positive or have a positive disposition” or crap like that. Some people really do have bad luck following them. Or replace bad luck with any other term you like.
These people do exist. The ones were good things miraculously happen to them, and the ones where bad things always happen to them. And then there’s the rest of the population, where you have a more even distribution of good/bad things happen to them.
Statistically, it is possible, and it does occur, for INDIVIDUAL people to have unusually good or unusually bad “luck.” The outliers, if you will.
Then you have the majority (think bell curve). In AGGREGATE however, we tend to see the 50/50 coin toss scenario, but instead of 10 or 100 tosses, it’s 7 Billion tosses.
In sum,
7+ Billion people = Aggregate
But Individual people can have unusually good “luck” or unusually “bad” luck.
https://www.youtube.com/
No, the universe does not have a mind of it’s own. However, I do believe some people are just “unlucky” or get crapped on.
Damn this No Edit thing.
No, the universe obviously does not have a mind of it’s own. However, I do believe some people are consistently “unlucky” or “lucky.” It is all in the very possible realm of statistics, the difference is looking at aggregate vs individual.
Ok, now I’m hungry. Time to feed this depressed brain…
Excellent points MF. My life was actually ok until I screwed it up with the soon to be ex. Then life all came undone and each day gets chittier and chittier and somehow my body talks my mind into holding onto another day but why I have no idea because the next day is just as chitty as the last.