3 years later

This week, Quebec marks the twenty-seventh National Suicide Prevention Week. The week runs from Jan. 29 to Feb. 4

I felt the need of coming back here, and read the stuff I was writing few years ago, when I was at my worst.

I’m trying to find some words to help those who are now in deep distress, cause I’ve been there, and I should know what to tell those people.

The truth is that I don’t know which word can be used to really help, ’cause I do remember how all those hope messages made me feel worst when I was at my rock bottom. Life IS tough, and when you get better, you know it will be hard again soon enough. But you also know that you’re stronger than you were, and you CAN start taking care of your own person. You can feed yourself with a little bit of happiness before the dark falls on you again.

I do feel better. I actually am happy right now, and it’s been going on for about 1 year. I’m not dumb, happiness is not something that is permanent. It’s a fleeting state of mind. I did cried through this year, but I smiled a lot more. I’m taking advantage of this situation…to make myself ready for what’s next. I know there will be other shits coming on my way. I know that my depression problems will come back and try to tear me down again. But I’m getting ready for it. Cause I know myself better, and I know I can prevent some things from going wrong because of that.

I’m not stronger, not richer, not luckier than anyone here. I will fall again, and you might be the ones to bring me up.

But I all know, at this moment, is that I am glad I didn’t make THAT move 2 years ago. Cause there IS some hope, and  mostly, there are people who can really understand you and help you. I am one of those.

May this text comfort someone somewhere somehow.