I’ve been researching again and according to the website lostallhope’s chart, carbon monoxide has a 70% lethality rate.
4 years ago, my dad and I stumbled across a news article about a woman who committed suicide through carbon monoxide. She went to a holiday home for the weekend and took a child with her. Both were dead when found. She wanted to die and killed her own child too. The child had no clue what was going to happen.
“People who die by gas look beautiful when they’re found. Their cheeks become flushed and ruddy. Almost healthy.” Dad told me.
I still remember what he said, years later.
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It’s not like my parents have no clue what is going to happen. I’ve told them I wanted to die and all they’ve responded with is what they think I should do. Productive things, haha fuck you.
Not how I feel. This gut feeling of hopelessness. Those sporadic moments of agony.
They don’t believe me.
They want to tell me what to do.
I will die before that happens.
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An awful amount of preparation is required, either by burning a stove with butane or making an exit bag pumped with helium.
Just the potential amount of shopping gives me a headache.
I’ve given myself a date. Saturday is when I will down all the pills I have. I’ve given myself three days- enough plenty. The dose that I have will do the job in two days, and holing up in a room for the weekend isn’t considered unusual. Two days for my organs to fail without anyone noticing.
Problem is all the hotels and inns take credit or debit cards and I can’t pay by cash, so I will probably have to do it in this rotten room. Maybe move the bed frame against the door to prevent the people with the master key from getting in.
If that fails, I’ll be in deep shit. Or vomit. Whatever. It’s the most available option to me within a three-day frame so it will have to work.
If it fails, I’ll try the gas.
Wish me luck.
10 comments
I dunno if I’d take 70 percent. I want as close to 95-98 as I can get, even if it’s brutal.
This method is effective but not mine I still am sticking to hanging. I tried this before there is lots of different ways to correctly do it however I need to respect the rules
Exit bag seems least painful and easy for me that is when I can shop for what it requires. I hope you finally find peace.
I’m going that way, but instead of a bag I’m using an actual CPAP mask so that I am more comfortable.
Exactly how I’m doing it. Should only cost about $150 with shipping.
is it $150 just for the cpap mask?
No you need more than just the mask the mask just makes it easier
Whoa… Guys… I know that I don’t know what you’re going through, but please call the suicide prevention hotline. Once again, I don’t know what you’re going through, and I’m sure that you’ve tried other options before you decided that you’re going to commit suicide, but please, call the prevention hotline. I don’t personally know you, but please don’t do this. Please. I don’t know you, but I’m sure that there are people out there who care deeply about you. People that don’t want to see you go. I’m horrible at writing, so this all probably sounds stupid, but I’m certain that there are people out there who love you and want you to stay there with them, and please don’t do this. Please just call the hotline. Even if you think it’s pointless, please call it.
I know you mean well. Suidice prevention hotline might work for some people who could do with help, but it ain’t gonna work for the hardcore suicidals on here. Life sucks balls, why should it be preserved?
Because it’s the same thing different day for years imagine this. Your life is good no bad then something so tragic happens then you push it down try and fix the damage but there’s this feeling of no hope. Then you kinda start to feel a little less of the black never ending hole but it’s still there a little then bam something bad happens again opening up all the old wounds. You live with hell for years finally get the strength to get your life back only to once again have something bad happen then again and again and again something bad always happens no matter how hard we try and make it better. I get you wanna help people but there are some of us who may be missed when we leave but we will finally have peace for the first time in our lives and that is why this site is here for us to talk with people like us who understand and support our decisions to do whatever we have to in order to find peace. Yes some people may come out of it and that’s wonderful and I’m beyond happy for those people but some of us have been trying for far to long and we’re tired and ready.