I’ve said it once before and I’ll probably say it a million times more.
People like me are a plague. We’re dangerous, unpredictable, and more trouble than we’re worth. We should all be rounded up and euthanized.
Maybe advocating for that kind of genocide makes me some kind of monster, but evidently, society already thinks I’m a monster. So I might as well live up to their expectations, right?
Tonight’s been a rough night. I hate myself so fucking much.
11 comments
What makes you hate yourself and think you are a monster Whiskered?
I have a million reasons to hate myself. And apparently my disease is what makes me a monster.
It’s probably not your fault completely for the life you have. Rarely ever is.
My disease certainly isn’t my fault. But I guess that doesn’t matter, huh? I mean, it’s not a Cottonmouth’s fault that it was born venomous, but if one wandered into my house, I’d probably have to kill it anyway.
My comment is in moderation. I don’t know why. Oh well.
Yes it’s me calling at 3am, strung out and on the floor – trying to cope with who I am
The pain that grips me, the regrets I cannot bear, living in envy – of a hope that’s just not there
This twisted game we play, drags me to depths so deep – feeling the icy grip of temptations hand
This is the monster
That I have become
The leviathan, to which I succumb
Breathing deeply, as I wield this knife – what have I done? I won’t sink so easily, I won’t waste this night
This is the monster that I have become
Whispered and Equi why do you hate yourselves so much tonight in particular?
I promise we don’t think you’re a monster, whiskered.
Thanks. I hope so.
Whiskered, I’ve been reading your posts for over a year now. In all that time, I’ve never seen any indication that you’ve even come close to hurting anyone. It may be that you’ve just been leaving out all the bodies you’ve been stashing in your closet, but I just can’t see you posing a real threat.
Unless you’re close to acting on them, thoughts are just thoughts. They may be obsessive, but they’re not a true reflection of who you are.
You’re not a monster. ‘Society’ just doesn’t understand. Monsters are people who repeatedly hurt others, with no capacity for change.
Thank you for your faith in me, Husk. I really do appreciate it, very much.
But even if I’m not a monster, that’s what most people expect me to be. And if that’s all they’ll ever see me as, then I see no point in trying to be anything else. I don’t know why I keep trying. No matter what, the world won’t see Kat. They’ll just see a diagnosis. I’m just a list of scary-sounding symptoms and statistics and that’s all I’ll ever be to most people. Why bother?