Came across this video just now. I think we need more of this- people being REAL about having children, instead of this stupid insane societal push to make everyone feel like they NEED to have a kid and that there’s something wrong with you if you don’t.
Back in my 20s, EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE, including the grocery store cashier, was like “Why are you still single? Why aren’t you married? Why aren’t you having children? What do you mean you DON’T want to have any??? And they all act like it’s SO wrong and SO bad of me to NOT want any. These are people I know, and people I don’t know. It’s like a taboo thing to think not all kids are angels and worth it, and to not want to have children in general- if you’re a female. If you’re a male, they always give you slack, like, “oh, don’t worry, you’ll come around.” With women, it’s like “omg, how DARE YOU not want to be a mother.”
Attitudes are changing now, with the economy and the millenials. But back in my day (I’m just a gen before the millenials), it was just taboo to not want to have any children.
Also, there’d be way less depression and messed up households if people who shouldn’t be having children didn’t have them.
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Preach! Yes! BTW – I saw survey results on this very matter that was conducted in Canada. Seventy percent of the parents there regretted their decision. Truly, truly, truly: from what I see most parents should have never imposed themselves on children.
“Back in my 20s, EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE, including the grocery store cashier, was like ‘Why are you still single? Why aren’t you married? Why aren’t you having children? What do you mean you DON’T want to have any???’ And they all act like it’s SO wrong and SO bad of me to NOT want any. These are people I know, and people I don’t know. It’s like a taboo thing to think not all kids are angels and worth it, and to not want to have children in general- if you’re a female. If you’re a male, they always give you slack, like, ‘oh, don’t worry, you’ll come around.’ With women, it’s like ‘omg, how DARE YOU not want to be a mother.’ ”
Hey there. I’m in my 20’s now. haha. Honestly, it’s the oddest thing on the face of the planet to see people I had classes with in school, now in a long term relationship, or married, or with kids. It’s even more awkward when you had a crush on that person when you were younger. In truth, I think there is still a generally big push toward settling down with someone and having children.
Hell, every so often even I get told, by my own mother, that I should eventually get married and have kids, and talks about grandchildren (even though I am slightly repulsed by the idea of having a child because of the type of person I currently am). It’s just inescapable. People want to live through their kids, and that’s how kids wind up liking some things, hating some things, that’s how a parent’s perceptions become their child’s…
You also make a good point about being real when it comes to raising a child, and less depression and messed up households as a result, however, and I’m sure you know this, but sometimes they have no choice (I think you know what I’m talking about…). At the end of the day, it takes a hell of a lot of shit to raise a child, good or bad, and some parents, good and bad, wind up in debt sometimes because of their kids (for good or bad reasons), but thanks to social media, every day is a happy day, and my child is so cute and lovable and smiling and everything is wonderful. Sunshine and rainbows, right?
Yes, and the majority of the chores and responsibilities STILL wind up the womens. Men are like, “oh I’l help out.” Uhm, no. “Helping out” every once in a while while the woman does 90% of the work is NOT acceptable. Why should the woman go to work, then come home and do 90% of the housework and childrearing? Why should the man get away with just “helping out”?
I’m glad the video brought up that issue. It’s something I’ve thought about when I was young, and a reason why I didn’t want to have any.
Just the way it is, women are better at that kind of shit.. Men are the hunters.
I’m not saying all women do this, but a good amount of them do.
For things like cleaning (cleaning is a PERFECT example) they want to say things like :
“Women are better cleaners.”
If the man does try to clean, even if he takes his time and does a good job, the woman may still complain, basically discouraging the man from wanting to do things, because the woman will literally sit and hover over him while doing housework (again, not saying all women do this).
Not to mention the fact that to this day people say “Men are better at A, B and C but women are better at X Y and Z” when it comes to familial life.
1. Nobody needs to hunt in modern society, so it’s not like men go out and hunt while women stay home and rear the children and do housework
2. That’s just an excuse, that “women are better at it” than men are, so therefore women must work full time AND do all of the housework AND childrearing. That’s utter BS. It’s one thing if 1 parent doesn’t work so he/she could take care of the children, but it’s another thing when BOTH parents work and STILL the responsibilities fall on the women.
3. I would love it if a man cooks and cleans. 🙂 So do lots of other women.
I never said it was an excuse, it’s just that it’s a bit annoying when even if a man tries to cook or clean and doesn’t do it to a woman’s standard, he gets grilled for it, maybe yelled at or constantly chided like you should know better type of thing, and then the woman may just wind up doing it herself from that point on. Not all men are chefs, and a lot of people will just always suck at cooking things unless it’s spelled out for them on the box or whatever. Cleaning-wise, it’s like, everything has to be perfectly clean sometimes…
I know this isn’t all people, but I’ve seen this happen on multiple occasions.
It’s also really annoying when most of the responsibility of the housework and child-rearing goes to the women. While we may have anecdotal hearsay of what you’ve seen with your friends/relatives being nitpicky with their spouses or whatever, or what I have seen, doesn’t matter, what there is that there is such a thing as facts, that women shoulder the vast majority of housework and childcare, throughout all countries in the world, despite the fact that women also work, just like men do.
Anyway, this is exactly what this video addresses.
Well, I know I am my mother’s regret. And then she regretted the regretting when she was how much I regretted my birth and my life. Regrettable all around, but commonplace.
Wonder how many moms are on that FB site o_O
I’m a Gen-Xer. When I was 24 my grandmother asked why I wasn’t married with children. She said “by the time I was your age I’d already had 3 children and two miscarriages”. I said “there’s already enough people in this world, the human race won’t go extinct if I choose not to breed”.
She couldn’t understand that. She seemed to believe that – The Meaning of Life – is about self replication. Passing on your DNA and filling the world with little critters that share your chromosomes.
No thanks.
I’m happy for all the breeders out there but I’m even happier to have dodged that bullet.
I regret both not having children as much as I am grateful that I did not. Perhaps these things are not as straightforward as they make them appear.
What about Dads?
The dads are on that site as well.
My dad wanted more kids, to adopt them, in fact. I thought about fostering. . . .
Yeah, men generally are the ones who want more kids, because they’re not the ones doing all the work.
Not saying all, but that’s usually how it goes.
Well I do go out and hunt, gets me some meat, then I go back to my cave, and get a fire going.
Now I must get some sleep, have a full English in the morning, and then maybe pop my clogs. I’ll see how I feel.
What you mean is: “I go and grab some fish n chips and some cans get back stick the leccy on” 😛
Christ, my last comment was to your previous comment not the one above 🙁
Maybe prospective parents should have to take a quiz and pass a test first.
Tester: Have you ever been suicidal and/or visited SP?
Respondent: Yes
Tester: Sorry, you don’t meet the criteria we’re looking for in a parent. Jerk off if you want to, but you’re ineligible to spawn.
Unfortunately this screening process hasn’t been implemented.
Ha, yes… I don’t think mentally ill people should be allowed to reproduce either. And I say that as a person with schizophrenia, depression, Asperger’s, and mild ADD. It just seems wrong to knowingly bring children into this world who will most likely be born with mental illnesses that will severely impair there lives. It seems cruel. In fact, it seems evil, not to mention very selfish.
Yeah, I don’t believe in outright banning these people from reproducing, but I think a whole LOT of people should exercise caution, or shouldn’t be having kids, or at least so many kids. Esp the ones having like 17 effing kids. WTF?
I know many men that do equally as much and far more thus tis not a matter of gender more who is lazy and who isn’t. Who is capable and who isn’t who is bone idle and who isn’t. Not who’s got a willy and who hasn’t. Me personally I like to do things in my own time but I will do them properly when I can be arsed 😛
And I has boobies
Jack Nicholson has fabulous man boobs. You ever seen them puppies swaying in the breeze?
I has boobs not moobs! I love jack Nicholson though lol
Hahaha. You’re right. I didn’t know moobs was even a word. I googled “Jack Nicholson Man Boobs” and saw pictures that no amount of bleach will ever cleanse my eyes.
*moment of silence*
Jack’s got moobs. (Not a bad album title).
Perfect song for this thread would be “Mother” by John Lennon
About having kids?
My point of view and what i did.
I DIDN’T HAVE ANY! 🙂
I realized very young that I wasn’t all that happy and the world kind of sucked, I also never said to myself gee maybe if i had some kids i’d be happy! Something to live for or any of that.
Why bring someone else into this mess? Then i would feel guilty, however i have taken in cats! and they are my children, and guess what I feel guilty about them!! what will happen to them when i’m gone? 🙂
It was just denied me by circumstances tbh. A little Woody never came into this world anyway..