I figured it out.

I figured it out. I can hang easily from the metal beams in my basement. I am crying from pure relief. I just tested it and it hurt but it would have worked if I jumped off the couch.

I am so happy. I looked and looked. I was so worried about jumping off a building and the trauma it cause my family. As musilm one of the last rights is washing the dead body. How could they when I am in pieces. This way, they can. I don’t if I will do it tonight. But, I know I can.