Hello. So I went to my first therapy session yesterday. I have a mixture of feelings to be honest, but overall it seems like it went over well. Really the first session was just to assess what I had. After a string of questions, which apparently lasted half an hour even though it didn’t feel that long, he said I had a textbook case of depression (what a surprise). Although what did catch me off guard was the textbook part. I wasn’t aware of how consistent it is, I guess you would say. I thought that it was a simple hiccup or behavioral issue, but apparently it’s full blown depression. I guess there are some positives and negatives I took away from the session itself:
POSITIVE
1) Got medication – He prescribed, right then and there, anti depressants. Just from asking me questions. It’s 37.5 mg of Effexor. Haven’t heard any stories about it here, but are you guys familiar with it? He told me that I’m going to see stuff on the internet that I won’t like about it, but he said he’s confident in it. Honestly I don’t care. So long as the happy pills kick in.
2) I got set up with a counselor – So the psychiatrist decided that I would see two people. Him for the medication and a lady he works with for counseling. Both work at different offices and I will be seeing the counselor more often (I think). I don’t mind. I’m at the point that I will just tell them whatever they need to know. I won’t tell them everything, but I will actually bother to talk. Of course I doubt I will buy into their “positivity” shtick.
NEGATIVE
1) Miscommunication – I feel that I wasn’t able to completely explain my situation and why I felt certain ways. There was a point that I forgot to mention that these certain feeling come and go and stay from days at a time to weeks at a time. He was under the impression that the things I was saying lasted for a solid half year. I mean I guess this is my fault, but I feel that I made it seem worse then it might be.
2) Odd questions – There were some questions that made me feel uncomfortable at times. Somehow it got to the point were he asked me if I’ve ever been in any relationships and weather I’ve had sex. He asked me about my surgery I had done on my dick that one time (foreskins suck sometimes) and weather that caused some sort of issue with me. I was honestly very confused, but I guess he’s the doc.
3) You’re Sick – This was to be expected, but of course by the end of it he was treating me the way they treat all of us. “These thoughts you have are not grounded in reality. You’re sick, you need help, and you need to get better.” He started talking about how I’m actually very bright and that these “negative” thoughts are stuff the depression just makes up. It was to be expected, but I still hate it.
Overall it was ok I guess. I was upfront about it when I told him I’m only trying therapy out because I don’t have the guts to commit suicide. This is my last option I guess. I don’t care about the happy bullshit they’re trying to peddle me. I just want my happy pills and to forgot about everything.
SIDE NOTE: I haven’t been visiting the site that much recently. It’s not that things have been getting better. They sort of are in the sense that everything feels neutral, but I still feel liking killing myself. I just don’t feel like posting as much anymore. I guess I’ve reached complete apathy, or maybe things are getting better. Who knows? I hope I didn’t start therapy when things were starting to peter out. Thanks for listening if you are.
10 comments
Stay vigilant with all antidepressants. As many stories as I heard, they work rarely. The first two weeks may be harsh, especially given that you are depressed. You should put yourself in a safe environment because antidepressants generally may make you even more depressed and suicidal.
If they make me more suicidal then good. Maybe this will push me over the edge into doing it.
It’s not so nice and if it happens, you’ll feel really awful. I’ve experienced it twice.
“These thoughts you have are not grounded in reality. You’re sick, you need help, and you need to get better.”
Doctors say this because most people believe they are depressed because there is something morally wrong with them… like a character defect. He’s trying to explain it is a DISEASE.
Leave your damn foreskin alone and you’ll be fine. If the drugs make you feel freaky then call the doc. Stay hydrated. Keep away from trombones for the next two weeks.
Screw you I’ll play with my foreskin all I want. But thanks though. That’s what I meant when I said they treat us all the same. I get that they will try to sell me the “normal” way of thinking. Really all I want is the meds to make me forget about everything. That was the main goal really. But I still will give counseling a shot.
sessions can vary a lot, not only session to session but from therapist to therapist, and especially the initial ones can be the odd ones, since that’s the poke and prod and getting the groundwork drawn up sort. The important thing is you are comfortable with it, and enough to be open, and you feel it has a positive effect, (which you likely wont notice the first couple of times unless the person is truly sucky in a way that’s directly obvious to you), so give it a couple of times to get a feel for it, and don’t be afraid to speak your mind, and call them on their “crap” when they do/ask something/in a way that doesn’t necessarily jive with you, even if it doesn’t mean they don’t immediately act on it and “change their way” calling attention to it helps both of you
about Effexor, first off, every drug has side effects so you will find/hear about it, the important thing is how it feels and reacts for you, if you have not had any positive result in max 8-10 weeks stop it, ask/demand either a different drug or stop the meds all together (don’t be afraid to demand different even if your doc is getting kickbacks from a company)
personally i don’t like Effexor (Venlafaxine) buuuuut, that’s for 2 reasons, 1 being it doesn’t have the positive effect on me sadly (don’t fret it does work for others), and nr2 being i experience various unpleasant side effects(which is just common for some people but again not all so don’t worry ahead of yourself),
all in all don’t lose hope because of others experiences, you gotta give stuff a shot for yourself, the key is to notice your own progress, if it’s not there, don’t be afraid to take action and speak up so that that you find noticeable positive changes ( i once had a doc “demand” i kept taking Edronax despite 0 progress for a year, only until i quit him did another doc allow/try out other means)
best wishes with your treatment and progress Jdoe
Thank you. Learned alot. I suppose I’ll like for any signs. Haven’t met the lady yet, so I’ll see how it goes with her.
Like LittleBead said, pay attention
because some people do have really really bad side effects, especially in the initial phase, (problem is some shitty docs don’t even warn nor inform about it so the patient don’t know to “look for it”)
if you get those dangerous side effects, strengthened depression, increased suicidality, delirium, mania/hypomania, then you stop taking the meds right away. Not “calling the doc first then stop”, you stop the meds first, then call the doc because those are the severe effects not the “mild common ones”
anti depressants doesn’t work for all, do for some, but doesn’t necessarily give side effects (mild or severe) to all, but they do to some, that’s why you pay attention, because after all it’s a chemical you take, so if the benefits doesn’t outweigh its downsides, a person doesn’t continue needlessly filling up on chemicals if it doesn’t help
so, watch out for the progress/effects,
don’t “expect” the bad side effects, i.e. don’t create them in your mind beforehand, just know to look out for them after to be safe, and act accordingly to your best progress’ outcome
I’m unsure if you actually read the paper that comes with the medication of side effects I was on that anti depressant and it worked for me. One tiny side effect I had was spaciness/forgetfulness. I didn’t like my memory or attention span being messed with so I switched.
Yeah he’s just a pusher with an office.