25 days until I have nothing left to look forward to. Back in November before I got this bad again I booked tickets to a music concert. Sure, it’s just a concert, but it’s been enough for me the past few months just to keep myself looking ahead.
Now…I am finally reaching the date. And after that, I become truly empty. Right now I wish I could put on a coat and get a backpack and run away into a cold dark place, and hide there until I get found. The only reason I don’t is because I do have something. But I won’t soon.
I don’t know what I’m doing anymore and frankly i’ve never felt so hopeless. I’m watching as humans are destroying each other and themselves and the planet we live on. Humanity is like the cancer of this planet, constantly multiplying, destroying everything till it dies. I feel like I’m not far off completely disconnecting from reality. I already believe I’m a ghost.
But now I finally see an end in sight. In 25 days there’ll be no more keeping me alive, so the countdown will finally commence.
1 comment
I love live music, who are you seeing?
If you can look forward to that for months could you find another reason?
The world at large is always in disarray, I might like to focus energy there, at least philosophically, once I can stand on my feet again.